We don’t need new drilling or new power plants. We need to get efficient
(From TIME, Jan 12, 2009)
This may sound too good to be true, but U.S. has a renewable energy resource that is perfectly clean, remarkably cheap, surprisingly abundant and immediately available. It has astounding potential to reduce the carbon emissions that threaten our planet, the dependence on foreign oil that threatens our security and the energy costs that threaten our wallets. Unlike coal and petroleum, it doesn’t pollute; unlike solar and wind, it doesn’t depend on weather; unlike ethanol, it doesn’t accelerate deforestation and inflate food price; unlike nuclear plants, it doesn’t raise uncomfortable questions about meltdowns or terrorist attacks or radioactive-waste storage, and it doesn’t take a decade to build. It isn’t what-if like hydrogen, clean coal and tidal power; it’s already proven to be workable, scalable and cost-effective. And we don’t need to import it.
This miracle juice goes by the distinctly boring name of energy efficiency, and it’s often ignored in the hubbub over alternative fuels, the nuclear renaissance, T. Boone Pickens and the green-tech economy.
Vocabulary:
Hubbub: n. 吵鬧聲、騷動
Ethanol: 酒精
Sunday, January 4, 2009
The Battle over Gaza
Provoked by Hamas rockets, Israel wreaks devastation on Gaza. As president-elect Obama stays mum, the stakes get even higher.
(From Time, Jan 12, 2009)
Near Gaza, the conflict between Israeli and Palestinian caused unending fight. At 11:30 a.m. on Dec. 27, the rolling boom of Israeli bombs and missiles slamming into Gaza. This military action has caused Israeli overkill. The Bush Administration blamed the escalation of violence squarely on Hamas. The chorus of condemnation will grow with the proportions of the conflict. However, the President-elect Obama seems unwilling to directly engage with the problem before the Jan. 20 Inauguration.
Vocabulary:
Provoke: 對…挑釁；煽動；激怒
Azure: n. The blue sky
Lopsided: 傾向一側的
Toll: 傷亡人數
Accusation: n. 指控
Escalation: n. 逐步上升
Inevitably: 不可避免的
Condemnation: n. 譴責
(From Time, Jan 12, 2009)
Near Gaza, the conflict between Israeli and Palestinian caused unending fight. At 11:30 a.m. on Dec. 27, the rolling boom of Israeli bombs and missiles slamming into Gaza. This military action has caused Israeli overkill. The Bush Administration blamed the escalation of violence squarely on Hamas. The chorus of condemnation will grow with the proportions of the conflict. However, the President-elect Obama seems unwilling to directly engage with the problem before the Jan. 20 Inauguration.
Vocabulary:
Provoke: 對…挑釁；煽動；激怒
Azure: n. The blue sky
Lopsided: 傾向一側的
Toll: 傷亡人數
Accusation: n. 指控
Escalation: n. 逐步上升
Inevitably: 不可避免的
Condemnation: n. 譴責
Adding Some Color to Your Life
Look at the world around you. How many colors do you see? The blue of the sky. The green of the trees. The red bricks and white tiles of the buildings. The colors of your clothes, your books, your food. Color is everywhere around us. It plays an important role in our lives.
Each color, for example, has a special meaning. However, sometimes these meanings are different in different cultures. In China, for example yellow is the color of the emperor, but in the West, when people see yellow baby chickens or yellow flowers, they often think of spring. For the Chinese, the color red suggests the wish for good things to happen. It is also the color for Chinese New Year and other celebrations. For Americans, red means love. It is the color for Valentine’s Day, but red and green together are Christmas colors. The Chinese wear white at funerals, but for most Western people, white is for weddings. They would never wear white to a funeral, only black.
Colors can also affect the way we feel and act. In recent years, some researchers have developed theories about the effects of color on our lives. Some of them believe that we can even use color to change our feelings or attitudes.
According to these researchers, for example, light blue can make people feel more patient and loving. If the members of your family are always fighting, you might try adding some of this color to your home. You could paint the walls light blue, for instance. Red, on the other hand, is a color full of energy. If you are always tired, perhaps you could buy yourself a bunch of red roses. If you feel sad or afraid, try wearing something orange. This is the color of courage. Yellow is a color that can help you study better. It represents thinking. So if your mind feels lazy, you might try putting some yellow decorations around your desk.
Of course, these ideas about color are just theories. Some people may take them seriously, and some may think they are meaningless. Others may enjoy trying them out just for fun. Why don’t you give them a try? Whether they work for you or not, at least they will make your life more colorful.
(from Far East English Reader vol.1)
Summery:
Color is everywhere around us and plays an important role in our lives. In different cultures, each color usually has a different meaning. In recent years, researchers claim different color has different effects on our lives.
Color:
Red, pink, orange, yellow, green, white, navyblue, purple, brown, black, gray, beige, indigo, blue.
Idioms and phrased:
1. play a(n) … role:
2. think of:
3. on the other hand
Each color, for example, has a special meaning. However, sometimes these meanings are different in different cultures. In China, for example yellow is the color of the emperor, but in the West, when people see yellow baby chickens or yellow flowers, they often think of spring. For the Chinese, the color red suggests the wish for good things to happen. It is also the color for Chinese New Year and other celebrations. For Americans, red means love. It is the color for Valentine’s Day, but red and green together are Christmas colors. The Chinese wear white at funerals, but for most Western people, white is for weddings. They would never wear white to a funeral, only black.
Colors can also affect the way we feel and act. In recent years, some researchers have developed theories about the effects of color on our lives. Some of them believe that we can even use color to change our feelings or attitudes.
According to these researchers, for example, light blue can make people feel more patient and loving. If the members of your family are always fighting, you might try adding some of this color to your home. You could paint the walls light blue, for instance. Red, on the other hand, is a color full of energy. If you are always tired, perhaps you could buy yourself a bunch of red roses. If you feel sad or afraid, try wearing something orange. This is the color of courage. Yellow is a color that can help you study better. It represents thinking. So if your mind feels lazy, you might try putting some yellow decorations around your desk.
Of course, these ideas about color are just theories. Some people may take them seriously, and some may think they are meaningless. Others may enjoy trying them out just for fun. Why don’t you give them a try? Whether they work for you or not, at least they will make your life more colorful.
(from Far East English Reader vol.1)
Summery:
Color is everywhere around us and plays an important role in our lives. In different cultures, each color usually has a different meaning. In recent years, researchers claim different color has different effects on our lives.
Color:
Red, pink, orange, yellow, green, white, navyblue, purple, brown, black, gray, beige, indigo, blue.
Idioms and phrased:
1. play a(n) … role:
2. think of:
3. on the other hand
Stage Two: Uncertainty
When someone is more special to us than others, we automatically move into stage two, uncertainty. When we begin to feel that we would really like to get to know someone and have an exclusive relationship, it is quite natural suddenly to shift and not feel so sure. For some that shift is like an earthquake and for others it is a mind tremor. Sometimes the size of the shift or the suddenness with which it occurs is a signal that this person has good potential.
You could actually be dating your soul mate, but in stage two of dating you may not know it.
When The Grass Looks Greener on the Other Side of the Fence
As long as man has not experienced the reality of making a woman happy, he will hold a fantasy picture.
In stage two, even if the grass on the other side of the fence begins to look greener, the man’s new objective is to look and dig a little deeper on his side of the fence, to stop looking at the grass and dig for the gold. He may or may not find it, but he will never find it if he doesn’t start digging.
To dig deeper he needs to ask himself these questions:
· Could I possibly be the right man for her?
· Could I possibly have what it takes to make her happy?
· Do I care for her?
· Do I want to make her happy?
· Does her happiness make me happy?
· Do I miss her when I am away from her?
When, over time, a man discovers an affirmative answer to each of these questions, then he is ready to move on to an exclusive relationship.
Why Men Begin to Doubt
A man’s doubts are dispelled not primarily by what a woman does for him, but by how she responds to what he does for her.
When a man focuses on what he wants, he is sure to miss the perfect woman for him.
When Women Are Uncertain
When a woman moves into stage two and feels uncertain, she reacts differently from a man. While a man tends to question whether he wants to pursue a relationship, a woman tends to question where the relationship is going. Quite often, she senses the man pulling away. To find reassurance, she makes one of two common mistakes. Either she starts asking questions about the relationship, or she may try to win him over. Both of these approaches can push him away or prevent him from feeling confident that he is the right guy for her.
In the uncertainty stage, when a woman doesn’t understand a man, she may easily begin to panic.
What a Woman Asks
· Did I do something wrong?
· Is there someone else?
· Does he still care?
· Will he call?
· Am I doing the right things?
· Am I doing enough?
· What can I do to regain his attention, interest, affection, and desire?
Unfortunately, all of these questions lure her in the wrong direction: she begins to pursue him.
For a woman, the stage of uncertainty should be a time to reflect on what she is getting from the man, not on what she could get. This is a time for the woman to stay open to his future advances, but more important, it is a time to fill up her life with the support of friends. This is a time to test whether he is really the right person for an exclusive relationship.
How to Avoid Pursuing Too Much
What to Do When He Doesn’t Call
The worst thing a woman can do is to call a man and interrogate him about his feelings about her and the relationship.
Just as time slows down for women in uncertainty, time can speed up for a man.
The Pressure to Give Back
Need and Obligation
By clearly realizing that she is under no obligation, a woman can begin to freely flirt with men and enjoy receiving what men can offer.
Just because a woman enjoys a man’s gift does not in any way obligate her to give more than a smile or a thank you.
The Desire for Intimacy Is Innocent
If a woman is not ready she can still be polite and firmly say no to man’s sexual advances.
Four Degrees of Physical Intimacy
A woman can say yes to different degrees of sex without having to go all the way. This is a very important insight, because to avoid intercourse, many women will not be physically affectionate or sexual at all. For a woman to feel comfortable being physically intimate, she needs to share a clear picture of how far she wants to go, and she must get a clear message from the man that he will respect what she wants.
· First Base: to do kissing and affection.
· Second Base: they begin to stimulate the first and second erogenous zones.
· Third Base: the full stimulation of the genitals without intercourse.
· Home Base
How to Say NO
When Waiting to Get Involved Is a Mistake
(From “ Mars and Venus on a Date” ch.4)
You could actually be dating your soul mate, but in stage two of dating you may not know it.
When The Grass Looks Greener on the Other Side of the Fence
As long as man has not experienced the reality of making a woman happy, he will hold a fantasy picture.
In stage two, even if the grass on the other side of the fence begins to look greener, the man’s new objective is to look and dig a little deeper on his side of the fence, to stop looking at the grass and dig for the gold. He may or may not find it, but he will never find it if he doesn’t start digging.
To dig deeper he needs to ask himself these questions:
· Could I possibly be the right man for her?
· Could I possibly have what it takes to make her happy?
· Do I care for her?
· Do I want to make her happy?
· Does her happiness make me happy?
· Do I miss her when I am away from her?
When, over time, a man discovers an affirmative answer to each of these questions, then he is ready to move on to an exclusive relationship.
Why Men Begin to Doubt
A man’s doubts are dispelled not primarily by what a woman does for him, but by how she responds to what he does for her.
When a man focuses on what he wants, he is sure to miss the perfect woman for him.
When Women Are Uncertain
When a woman moves into stage two and feels uncertain, she reacts differently from a man. While a man tends to question whether he wants to pursue a relationship, a woman tends to question where the relationship is going. Quite often, she senses the man pulling away. To find reassurance, she makes one of two common mistakes. Either she starts asking questions about the relationship, or she may try to win him over. Both of these approaches can push him away or prevent him from feeling confident that he is the right guy for her.
In the uncertainty stage, when a woman doesn’t understand a man, she may easily begin to panic.
What a Woman Asks
· Did I do something wrong?
· Is there someone else?
· Does he still care?
· Will he call?
· Am I doing the right things?
· Am I doing enough?
· What can I do to regain his attention, interest, affection, and desire?
Unfortunately, all of these questions lure her in the wrong direction: she begins to pursue him.
For a woman, the stage of uncertainty should be a time to reflect on what she is getting from the man, not on what she could get. This is a time for the woman to stay open to his future advances, but more important, it is a time to fill up her life with the support of friends. This is a time to test whether he is really the right person for an exclusive relationship.
How to Avoid Pursuing Too Much
What to Do When He Doesn’t Call
The worst thing a woman can do is to call a man and interrogate him about his feelings about her and the relationship.
Just as time slows down for women in uncertainty, time can speed up for a man.
The Pressure to Give Back
Need and Obligation
By clearly realizing that she is under no obligation, a woman can begin to freely flirt with men and enjoy receiving what men can offer.
Just because a woman enjoys a man’s gift does not in any way obligate her to give more than a smile or a thank you.
The Desire for Intimacy Is Innocent
If a woman is not ready she can still be polite and firmly say no to man’s sexual advances.
Four Degrees of Physical Intimacy
A woman can say yes to different degrees of sex without having to go all the way. This is a very important insight, because to avoid intercourse, many women will not be physically affectionate or sexual at all. For a woman to feel comfortable being physically intimate, she needs to share a clear picture of how far she wants to go, and she must get a clear message from the man that he will respect what she wants.
· First Base: to do kissing and affection.
· Second Base: they begin to stimulate the first and second erogenous zones.
· Third Base: the full stimulation of the genitals without intercourse.
· Home Base
How to Say NO
When Waiting to Get Involved Is a Mistake
(From “ Mars and Venus on a Date” ch.4)
Stage One: Attraction
Although feelings of attraction are automatic, in order to sustain attraction in a personal relationship we must also be skillful in presenting ourselves in ways that are not just appealing to the order sex but supportive as well.
Expressing Your Most Positive Self
To sustain attraction in stage one, we must express our best and most positive self. Without an understanding of the customs and manners on Venus, a man can put his best foot forward and unknowingly turn a date off.
Asking for Her Number
A man doesn’t realize his power to win her over and become attractive to her. He doesn’t how to start becoming more attractive to her by:
• First initiating eye contact
• Just noticing her
• politely and casually looking her over as she looks away
• being interested in getting to know her
• liking her
• being attracted to her
• taking the risk of introducing himself
• asking some friendly questions
• looking at her when she talks
• giving her his full attention
• complimenting her
• letting her know at the end of the conversation that her would like to call her (It can be so simple to say, “I’d like to give you a call.”)
Whenever a man does something to make a woman feel special, in her eyes becomes more attractive.
How Women Misunderstand Men
Women also misunderstand men. A woman often mistakenly assume that if a man is the right man for her, he will know what she wants and will automatically consider her needs and do the things she does to show that her cares. When he doesn’t fulfill this unrealistic expectation, then she becomes unnecessarily frustrated and discouraged.
On Venus, friends enjoy the opportunity to share freely the mishaps, frustrations, disappointments, and complaints of the week.
A man is attracted to a woman who clearly can be pleased.
After getting to know our best sides, we are ready to deal with the less positive sides of who we are.
When a Woman Gives On a Date
After being receptive to man’s advances and appreciating his efforts, a woman doesn’t owe a man anything.
Distance not only makes the heart grow fonder but gives a man the opportunity to pursue.
Unlocking the Car Door
When a woman is too eager to please, a man doesn’t experience the distance he needs to pursue her.
When a woman reaches across to unlock a man’s door, it defeats the whole purpose of the date and confuses their roles.
Why Women Give Too Much
A woman need never feel obligated to please a man.
Falling in Love Right Away
When a woman falls in love, she may feel as if she is already getting everything she could ever want.
Expressing Your Most Positive Self
To sustain attraction in stage one, we must express our best and most positive self. Without an understanding of the customs and manners on Venus, a man can put his best foot forward and unknowingly turn a date off.
Asking for Her Number
A man doesn’t realize his power to win her over and become attractive to her. He doesn’t how to start becoming more attractive to her by:
• First initiating eye contact
• Just noticing her
• politely and casually looking her over as she looks away
• being interested in getting to know her
• liking her
• being attracted to her
• taking the risk of introducing himself
• asking some friendly questions
• looking at her when she talks
• giving her his full attention
• complimenting her
• letting her know at the end of the conversation that her would like to call her (It can be so simple to say, “I’d like to give you a call.”)
Whenever a man does something to make a woman feel special, in her eyes becomes more attractive.
How Women Misunderstand Men
Women also misunderstand men. A woman often mistakenly assume that if a man is the right man for her, he will know what she wants and will automatically consider her needs and do the things she does to show that her cares. When he doesn’t fulfill this unrealistic expectation, then she becomes unnecessarily frustrated and discouraged.
On Venus, friends enjoy the opportunity to share freely the mishaps, frustrations, disappointments, and complaints of the week.
A man is attracted to a woman who clearly can be pleased.
After getting to know our best sides, we are ready to deal with the less positive sides of who we are.
When a Woman Gives On a Date
After being receptive to man’s advances and appreciating his efforts, a woman doesn’t owe a man anything.
Distance not only makes the heart grow fonder but gives a man the opportunity to pursue.
Unlocking the Car Door
When a woman is too eager to please, a man doesn’t experience the distance he needs to pursue her.
When a woman reaches across to unlock a man’s door, it defeats the whole purpose of the date and confuses their roles.
Why Women Give Too Much
A woman need never feel obligated to please a man.
Falling in Love Right Away
When a woman falls in love, she may feel as if she is already getting everything she could ever want.
Finding the Right Person for You
Finding the right person for you is like hitting the center of a target in archery. To aim and hit the center takes a lot of practice.
Good Endings Make Good Beginnings
How we end a relationship and how we evaluate a date are essential to fine-tuning our ability to be attracted to the right person for us. The secret of making sure one relationship leads to another one, closer to what you want, is to pay a lot of attention to how you end a relationship. How you end a relationship has an enormous impact on the quality of your next relationship. Good endings make good beginnings.
Repeating Patterns
When we end a relationship with resentment or guilt, we are attracted to someone who will help us deal with unresolved feelings and issues.
Staying Together Too Long
One of the reasons people end relationships with negative feelings is that they stay together too long. They do not recognize they are with the wrong person and move on. Instead, they try too hard to make a relationship work. They either try to change their partner or try to change themselves. In the process of trying to fit together, they make things worse. In trying to make a relationship that is close to the right one into the right one, they create frustration and disappointment. In the process of trying to make things better, they bring out the worst in their partner and themselves.
When Love Is Not Enough
As Bill and Susan moved through the first three stages of dating, everything had been fine, but in the fourth stage it went downhill. As Bill got to know Susan, he began to think he was not right for her and she was not right for him. He loved her, but he didn’t want to marry her.
Neither Bill nor Susan knew that it was perfectly healthy to get to know a person, fall in love, and then discover that this person is not a right one. Instead of ending their relationship with love, they ended it because they had so many arguments that they just didn’t like each other anymore. Without this important insight, many people end relationships by focusing on the negative instead of by focusing on the positive.
How Do You Know When Someone Is Right?
“How do you know if someone is right?”
“Well, I don’t exactly know what to tell you---you just know.”
What Many Single People Don’t Understand
Many single people don’t understand this basic truth. They mistakenly believe that if you love someone, you should want to have a relationship with them. This is not right. The closer someone is to being the right person, the more you will be able to see him or her as worthy of your love, but still this might not be the right person for you. Just because you love someone doesn’t mean he or she is the one for you.
People do not realize that love is not enough. If they discover that their partner is not right, either they feel guilty ending the relationship or they unnecessarily focus on what does not work in the relationship in order to justify leaving.
When couples don’t know how to end a relationship with love, they bring out the worst in their partners and the worst in themselves. Not only is this unnecessary, but it makes it more difficult to find the right person next time.
What It Takes
In most cases it takes both time and progression through the five stages before you can recognize your true life partner and soul mate. Certainly there are games and manipulations to make someone love you and want to marry you, but this doesn’t ensure that he or she will be right for you.
Finding a Soul Mate
A soul mate is someone who has the unique ability to bring out the best in us. Soul mates are not perfect, but perfect for us. While they can bring out the best in us, without good communication skills they can also bring out the worst in us, and vice versa. We are not just physically turned on to them; our soul gets turned on as well.
There are basically four kinds of chemistry between dating partners: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. Physical chemistry generates desire. Emotional chemistry generates affection. Mental chemistry creates interest. Spiritual chemistry creates love. A soul mate includes all four.
Physical Attraction Is Not Enough
The Soul and Lasting Love
Opening Our Hearts
In the early stages of dating, when our hearts are not fully open to each other, we depend on our feelings of attraction and interest to find the right person. Feelings of attraction and interest can only lead us into a relationship that meets our emotional needs. Once we begin to get our emotional needs met in a relationship, our hearts begin to open and we experience real love and intimacy. As we get to know our partner with love, it is still not certain that we will pick him or her as our soul mate.
We may feel a deep soul love, but still that person may not be the one. Finding deep and lasting love does not mean a person is the perfect person for you. When some people mistakenly assume that loving a person means marriage, they can never open up to feel the love in their hearts because they are not sure that they want to marry that person.
Marriage Is a Choice
Marriage is a choice, but not like any other choice. You don’t marry just any person you love. Instead, you first find love and then you are capable of making the right choice. As we have already explored, the experience of real love for a person doesn’t necessarily mean he or she is the one for you. The experience of real love does connect us to our soul. With this connection, we are then able to know what our soul wants to do.
Choosing a soul mate is not mental decision based on the pros and cons of a relationship. It is not an emotional decision based on comparing how a person makes you feel. It is not a physical decision based on how a person looks. It is much deeper. When our soul wants to marry our partner, it feels like a promise that we came into this world to keep.
It feels as if we are supposed to be together and share our lives.
Preparing Ourselves
Most people find or are found by their soul mates when they are not really looking.
Autonomy Is the Basis for Intimacy
As we become more autonomous and mature, we automatically begin looking for more in our relationships.
Soul Mates Are Not Perfect
When You Can’t Make Up Your Mind
The Importance of Exclusivity
Increasing Discernment
Why Couples Are Waiting To Get Married
It is wise to first know yourself before trying to share your self in a marriage.
The Wisdom of Going Slowly
Just as living separately from our parents is an important part of growing up, living separately from the opposite sex is equally important.
(From "Mars and Venus on a Date" ch.2)
Archery: [U] 箭術
Resentment: n.[U] 憤恨、憎恨、怨恨
Autonomy: n.[U]自治、自治權；[C] 自治團體
Good Endings Make Good Beginnings
How we end a relationship and how we evaluate a date are essential to fine-tuning our ability to be attracted to the right person for us. The secret of making sure one relationship leads to another one, closer to what you want, is to pay a lot of attention to how you end a relationship. How you end a relationship has an enormous impact on the quality of your next relationship. Good endings make good beginnings.
Repeating Patterns
When we end a relationship with resentment or guilt, we are attracted to someone who will help us deal with unresolved feelings and issues.
Staying Together Too Long
One of the reasons people end relationships with negative feelings is that they stay together too long. They do not recognize they are with the wrong person and move on. Instead, they try too hard to make a relationship work. They either try to change their partner or try to change themselves. In the process of trying to fit together, they make things worse. In trying to make a relationship that is close to the right one into the right one, they create frustration and disappointment. In the process of trying to make things better, they bring out the worst in their partner and themselves.
When Love Is Not Enough
As Bill and Susan moved through the first three stages of dating, everything had been fine, but in the fourth stage it went downhill. As Bill got to know Susan, he began to think he was not right for her and she was not right for him. He loved her, but he didn’t want to marry her.
Neither Bill nor Susan knew that it was perfectly healthy to get to know a person, fall in love, and then discover that this person is not a right one. Instead of ending their relationship with love, they ended it because they had so many arguments that they just didn’t like each other anymore. Without this important insight, many people end relationships by focusing on the negative instead of by focusing on the positive.
How Do You Know When Someone Is Right?
“How do you know if someone is right?”
“Well, I don’t exactly know what to tell you---you just know.”
What Many Single People Don’t Understand
Many single people don’t understand this basic truth. They mistakenly believe that if you love someone, you should want to have a relationship with them. This is not right. The closer someone is to being the right person, the more you will be able to see him or her as worthy of your love, but still this might not be the right person for you. Just because you love someone doesn’t mean he or she is the one for you.
People do not realize that love is not enough. If they discover that their partner is not right, either they feel guilty ending the relationship or they unnecessarily focus on what does not work in the relationship in order to justify leaving.
When couples don’t know how to end a relationship with love, they bring out the worst in their partners and the worst in themselves. Not only is this unnecessary, but it makes it more difficult to find the right person next time.
What It Takes
In most cases it takes both time and progression through the five stages before you can recognize your true life partner and soul mate. Certainly there are games and manipulations to make someone love you and want to marry you, but this doesn’t ensure that he or she will be right for you.
Finding a Soul Mate
A soul mate is someone who has the unique ability to bring out the best in us. Soul mates are not perfect, but perfect for us. While they can bring out the best in us, without good communication skills they can also bring out the worst in us, and vice versa. We are not just physically turned on to them; our soul gets turned on as well.
There are basically four kinds of chemistry between dating partners: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. Physical chemistry generates desire. Emotional chemistry generates affection. Mental chemistry creates interest. Spiritual chemistry creates love. A soul mate includes all four.
Physical Attraction Is Not Enough
The Soul and Lasting Love
Opening Our Hearts
In the early stages of dating, when our hearts are not fully open to each other, we depend on our feelings of attraction and interest to find the right person. Feelings of attraction and interest can only lead us into a relationship that meets our emotional needs. Once we begin to get our emotional needs met in a relationship, our hearts begin to open and we experience real love and intimacy. As we get to know our partner with love, it is still not certain that we will pick him or her as our soul mate.
We may feel a deep soul love, but still that person may not be the one. Finding deep and lasting love does not mean a person is the perfect person for you. When some people mistakenly assume that loving a person means marriage, they can never open up to feel the love in their hearts because they are not sure that they want to marry that person.
Marriage Is a Choice
Marriage is a choice, but not like any other choice. You don’t marry just any person you love. Instead, you first find love and then you are capable of making the right choice. As we have already explored, the experience of real love for a person doesn’t necessarily mean he or she is the one for you. The experience of real love does connect us to our soul. With this connection, we are then able to know what our soul wants to do.
Choosing a soul mate is not mental decision based on the pros and cons of a relationship. It is not an emotional decision based on comparing how a person makes you feel. It is not a physical decision based on how a person looks. It is much deeper. When our soul wants to marry our partner, it feels like a promise that we came into this world to keep.
It feels as if we are supposed to be together and share our lives.
Preparing Ourselves
Most people find or are found by their soul mates when they are not really looking.
Autonomy Is the Basis for Intimacy
As we become more autonomous and mature, we automatically begin looking for more in our relationships.
Soul Mates Are Not Perfect
When You Can’t Make Up Your Mind
The Importance of Exclusivity
Increasing Discernment
Why Couples Are Waiting To Get Married
It is wise to first know yourself before trying to share your self in a marriage.
The Wisdom of Going Slowly
Just as living separately from our parents is an important part of growing up, living separately from the opposite sex is equally important.
(From "Mars and Venus on a Date" ch.2)
Archery: [U] 箭術
Resentment: n.[U] 憤恨、憎恨、怨恨
Autonomy: n.[U]自治、自治權；[C] 自治團體
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