By Anonymous
The love of beauty is an essential part of all healthy human nature. It is a moral quality. The absence of it is not an assured ground of condemnation, but the presence of it is an invariable sign of goodness of heart. In proportion to the degree in which it is felt will probably be the degree in which nobleness and beauty of character will be attained.
Natural beauty is an all-pervading presence. The universe is its temple. It unfolds into the numberless flowers of spring. It waves in the branches of trees and the green blades of grass. It haunts the depths of the earth and the sea. It gleams from the hues of the shell and the precious stone. And not only these minute objects but the oceans, the mountains, the clouds, the stars, the rising and the setting sun ---- all overflow our tenderest and noblest feelings, that it is painful to think of the multitude of people living in the midst of it and yet remaining almost blind to it.
All persons should seek to become acquainted with the beauty in nature. There is not a worm we tread upon , nor a leaf that dances merrily as it falls before the autumn winds, but calls for our study and admiration. The power to appreciate beauty not merely increases our sources of happiness ---- it enlarges our moral nature, too. Beauty calms our restlessness and dispels our cares. Go into the fields or the woods, spend a summer day by the sea or the mountains, and all your little perplexities and anxieties will vanish. Listen to sweet music, and your foolish fears and petty jealousies will pass away. The beauty of the world helps us to seek and find to beauty of goodness.
Vocabulary:
· condemnation n. 責難，譴責
· condemn vt. 責難，將….判刑
· nobleness n. 高尚，高貴
· all-pervading a.遍布的
· unfold vi.展現
· unfold into … 漸漸開展為
· haunt vt.出沒於；不斷糾纏
· gleam vi.發微光，閃爍
· congenial a.適合的；適意的
· multitude n. 許多，大批
· midst n. 中間
· leaf n. 樹葉(複數為leaves)
· leafy a. 多業的；葉滿枝的
· merrily adv. 快樂的；愉快的
· call for… 需要…
· restlessness n. 浮躁，不安
· dispel vt.驅逐，驅散
· perplexity n.困惑
Sunday, January 11, 2009
A Key to Happiness
By James T. Mangan
To help others, you don’t have to be an efficient expert in the art; the main thing is the intention. You may be crude and clumsy, wasteful and ineffective, but if you sincerely try to help, your attempt produces nothing but good. The one you are trying to help knows your intention and is strengthened and encouraged by the magic of your sharing. In nearly every case, your simple desire to help, converted into action, produces the good sought. But perhaps the greatest good is the good that you yourself get out of the attempt. Service to others delivers more joy to you than the joy you deliver to them. In doing good, you free yourself from the terrible burden of self; you escape from yourself into a clean world of joy and light. The good you simply try to do, regardless of the outcome, is always a success inside yourself.
Unselfish giving is your most efficient formula for happiness, for you have embraced Eternity instead of Self; you have felt Life, and you are now the world bigger than you were before you began the project.
Vocabulary:
· crude a.粗魯的，粗俗的
· clumsy a. 笨拙的
· in an attempt to V
· attempt to V
· nothing but + N = only N 除了….都沒；只有/是
· convert A into B 將A轉變為B
· 人+ convert to + 宗教 某人皈依某宗教
· embrace vt. 擁抱
· eternity n.永恆；漫長的時間
· eternal a.永恆的
To help others, you don’t have to be an efficient expert in the art; the main thing is the intention. You may be crude and clumsy, wasteful and ineffective, but if you sincerely try to help, your attempt produces nothing but good. The one you are trying to help knows your intention and is strengthened and encouraged by the magic of your sharing. In nearly every case, your simple desire to help, converted into action, produces the good sought. But perhaps the greatest good is the good that you yourself get out of the attempt. Service to others delivers more joy to you than the joy you deliver to them. In doing good, you free yourself from the terrible burden of self; you escape from yourself into a clean world of joy and light. The good you simply try to do, regardless of the outcome, is always a success inside yourself.
Unselfish giving is your most efficient formula for happiness, for you have embraced Eternity instead of Self; you have felt Life, and you are now the world bigger than you were before you began the project.
Vocabulary:
· crude a.粗魯的，粗俗的
· clumsy a. 笨拙的
· in an attempt to V
· attempt to V
· nothing but + N = only N 除了….都沒；只有/是
· convert A into B 將A轉變為B
· 人+ convert to + 宗教 某人皈依某宗教
· embrace vt. 擁抱
· eternity n.永恆；漫長的時間
· eternal a.永恆的
Friendship
By Orison Swett Marden
No young man starting life could have better capital than plenty of friends. They will strengthen his credit, support him in every great effort, and make him what unaided, he could never be. Friends of the right sort will help him more ---- to be happy and successful ---- than much money or great learning.
Friendship is no one-sided affair. There can be no friendship without reciprocity. One cannot receive all and give nothing, or give all and receive nothing, and expect to experience the joy and fullness of true companionship.
Those who would make friends must cultivate the qualities which are admired and which attract. If you are mean, stingy and selfish, nobody will admire you. You must cultivate generosity and large-heartedness; you must be magnanimous and tolerant; you must have positive qualities, for a negative shrinking, apologizing, roundabout man is despised. You must believe in yourself. If you do not, others will not believe in you. You must look upward and be hopeful, cheery, and optimistic. No one will be attracted to a gloomy pessimist.
Vocabulary:
· capital n. 資金，資本；首都 a. 大寫的
· capitalize vt. 用大寫字母寫 vi. 利用(與介詞 on 並用)
· lowercase a.小寫字體的
· a capital of + 金額 一筆….資金
· unaided a.無幫助的，無援助的
· aid sb in Ving = assist sb in Ving = help sb (to) V
· one-sided a.單方面的
· reciprocity n. 互惠
· cultivate vt. 培養
· stingy a.吝嗇的，小氣的
· generosity a.寬大，慷慨
· magnanimous a.寬宏大量的，有雅量的
· tolerant a. 寬容的，寬大的
· roundabout a. 迂迴的
· despise vt.輕蔑，瞧不起
· optimistic a. 樂觀的 optimist
· pessimistic a. 悲觀的 pessimist
· be optimistic/ pessimistic about
· gloomy a.憂鬱的；黯淡的
No young man starting life could have better capital than plenty of friends. They will strengthen his credit, support him in every great effort, and make him what unaided, he could never be. Friends of the right sort will help him more ---- to be happy and successful ---- than much money or great learning.
Friendship is no one-sided affair. There can be no friendship without reciprocity. One cannot receive all and give nothing, or give all and receive nothing, and expect to experience the joy and fullness of true companionship.
Those who would make friends must cultivate the qualities which are admired and which attract. If you are mean, stingy and selfish, nobody will admire you. You must cultivate generosity and large-heartedness; you must be magnanimous and tolerant; you must have positive qualities, for a negative shrinking, apologizing, roundabout man is despised. You must believe in yourself. If you do not, others will not believe in you. You must look upward and be hopeful, cheery, and optimistic. No one will be attracted to a gloomy pessimist.
Vocabulary:
· capital n. 資金，資本；首都 a. 大寫的
· capitalize vt. 用大寫字母寫 vi. 利用(與介詞 on 並用)
· lowercase a.小寫字體的
· a capital of + 金額 一筆….資金
· unaided a.無幫助的，無援助的
· aid sb in Ving = assist sb in Ving = help sb (to) V
· one-sided a.單方面的
· reciprocity n. 互惠
· cultivate vt. 培養
· stingy a.吝嗇的，小氣的
· generosity a.寬大，慷慨
· magnanimous a.寬宏大量的，有雅量的
· tolerant a. 寬容的，寬大的
· roundabout a. 迂迴的
· despise vt.輕蔑，瞧不起
· optimistic a. 樂觀的 optimist
· pessimistic a. 悲觀的 pessimist
· be optimistic/ pessimistic about
· gloomy a.憂鬱的；黯淡的
Saturday, January 10, 2009
I Have a Dream
I am happy to join you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation.
In a sense we have come to our nation’s capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men, yes, black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed the “inalienable right of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check which has come back marked “insufficient funds.”
But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. So we have come to cash this check, a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice.
Now is the time to make real the promise of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God’s children.
I say to you today, my friends, that is in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment I still have dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.
I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal.”
I have dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at table of brotherhood.
I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a desert state sweltering with the heat of injustice and oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.
I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.
I have a dream today.
I have a dream that one day down in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.
I have a dream today.
I have dream that one day “every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low; the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.”
This is our hope. This is the faith that I go back to the South with. With this faith we will be able to hew out the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.
This will be the day when all of God’s children will be able to sing with a new meaning:
My country, ‘tis of thee,
Sweet land of liberty,
Of thee I sing.
Land where my father died,
Land of the pilgrims’ pride,
From every mountainside
Let freedom ring!
When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God’s children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in words of the old Negro spiritual:
Free at last! Free at last!
Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!
(an excerpt from “I have a Dream” by Martin Luther King)
In a sense we have come to our nation’s capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men, yes, black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed the “inalienable right of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check which has come back marked “insufficient funds.”
But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. So we have come to cash this check, a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice.
Now is the time to make real the promise of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God’s children.
I say to you today, my friends, that is in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment I still have dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.
I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal.”
I have dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at table of brotherhood.
I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a desert state sweltering with the heat of injustice and oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.
I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.
I have a dream today.
I have a dream that one day down in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.
I have a dream today.
I have dream that one day “every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low; the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.”
This is our hope. This is the faith that I go back to the South with. With this faith we will be able to hew out the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.
This will be the day when all of God’s children will be able to sing with a new meaning:
My country, ‘tis of thee,
Sweet land of liberty,
Of thee I sing.
Land where my father died,
Land of the pilgrims’ pride,
From every mountainside
Let freedom ring!
And if America is to be great nation this must become true.
When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God’s children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in words of the old Negro spiritual:
Free at last! Free at last!
Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!
(an excerpt from “I have a Dream” by Martin Luther King)
Vocabulary:
· promissory adj. 許諾的、保證的
· inalienable adj.不可剝奪的、密不可分的
· sacred adj.神聖的
· desolate adj.荒涼的
· creed n.[C] 信念、理念
· swelter vi. 熱得難受
· oppression n.[U] 壓迫
· exalt vt. 提高；讚揚
· crooked adj. 彎曲的
· discord n.[C,U] 不和諧的聲音；不協調
· spiritual n.[C] 黑人靈歌；adj. 心靈的、精神上的
· vault n.[C] 金庫、保險庫
· sunlit adj. 陽光照耀的
· quicksand n.[C,U]流沙
· oasis n.[C] 綠洲
· hew vt. 砍、劈
· jangle vi. 發出刺耳的聲響
· pilgrim n.[C] 朝聖者(此處指早期來到美洲的英國清教徒)
· hamlet n.[C] 小村落
· Jew n.[C] 猶太人
· Gentile n.[C] 非猶太人
· Protestant n.[C] 清教徒
· fall heir to 成為….繼承人
· rise up (against sb./sth.) 起義、反叛
· live out 實踐、身體力行
· (up)on demand 一經要求
· promissory adj. 許諾的、保證的
· inalienable adj.不可剝奪的、密不可分的
· sacred adj.神聖的
· desolate adj.荒涼的
· creed n.[C] 信念、理念
· swelter vi. 熱得難受
· oppression n.[U] 壓迫
· exalt vt. 提高；讚揚
· crooked adj. 彎曲的
· discord n.[C,U] 不和諧的聲音；不協調
· spiritual n.[C] 黑人靈歌；adj. 心靈的、精神上的
· vault n.[C] 金庫、保險庫
· sunlit adj. 陽光照耀的
· quicksand n.[C,U]流沙
· oasis n.[C] 綠洲
· hew vt. 砍、劈
· jangle vi. 發出刺耳的聲響
· pilgrim n.[C] 朝聖者(此處指早期來到美洲的英國清教徒)
· hamlet n.[C] 小村落
· Jew n.[C] 猶太人
· Gentile n.[C] 非猶太人
· Protestant n.[C] 清教徒
· fall heir to 成為….繼承人
· rise up (against sb./sth.) 起義、反叛
· live out 實踐、身體力行
· (up)on demand 一經要求
Friday, January 9, 2009
如何閱讀一本書
作者: Mortimer J. Adler & Charles Van Doren
摘要:
· 閱讀的層次:
1. 基礎閱讀
2. 檢視閱讀
3. 分析閱讀
4. 主題閱讀
· 如何做一個自我要求的讀者
回答四個幾本問題:
1. 整體來說，這本書到底在談寫什麼?
2. 作者細部說了什麼，怎麼說的?
3. 這本書說得有道理嗎? 是全部有道理，還是部分有道理?
4. 這本書跟你有什麼關係?
· 作筆記的方法:
1. 畫底線
2. 在畫底線處的欄外再加畫一道線
3. 在空白處做星號或其他符號
4. 在空白處編號
5. 在空白處記下其他頁碼
6. 將關鍵字或句子圈出來
7. 在頁碼的空白處做筆記
· 筆記的類型與閱讀層次
1. 結構筆記：檢視閱讀
2. 概念筆記：分析閱讀
3. 主題筆記：主題閱讀
· 檢視閱讀的方法
A. 有系統的略讀或粗讀
1. 先看書名頁，如果有序就看序。
2. 研究目錄頁。
3. 如果書中附有索引，也要檢閱一下。
4. 讀一下作者的介紹。
5. 挑幾個看來跟主題息息相關的篇章來看。
6. 最後一步，把書打開來，東翻翻西翻翻，念個一、兩段，有時候連續讀幾頁，但不要太多。
B. 粗淺的閱讀
§ 頭一次面對一本難讀的書的時候，從頭到尾先讀完一遍，碰到不懂的地方不要停下來查詢或思索。
§ 閱讀的速度: 因書因目的而調整。秘方:在閱讀一本書的時候，慢不該慢到不值得，快不該快到有損於滿足與理解。
§ 矯正眼睛逗留或倒退的卻失
· 分析閱讀的三個階段
A. 找出一本書在談什麼的規則
1. 依照書的種類與主題來分類。
2. 使用最簡短的文字說明整本書在談些什麼。
3. 將主要部分案順序與關聯性列出來。將全書的大崗烈出來，並將各個部分的大綱也列出來。
4. 確定作者想要解決的問題。
B. 詮釋一本書的內容規則
5. 詮釋作者的關鍵字，與他達成共識。
6. 又最重要的句子中，抓到作者的重要主旨。
7. 知道作者的論述是什麼，從內容中找出相關句子，在重新架構出來。
8. 確定作者已經解決了哪些問題，還有哪些是沒解決的。在判斷哪些事作者知道他沒解決的問題。
C. 像是溝通知失一樣的評論一本書的規則
I. 智慧禮節的一般規則
9. 除非你已經完成大綱架構，也能全是整本書，否則不要輕易評論。
10. 不要爭強好勝，非辯到底。
11. 在說出評論之前，你要能證明自己區別得出真正的知識與個人觀點的不同。
II. 批評觀點得特別標準
12. 證明作者的知識不足。
13. 證明作者的知識錯誤。
14. 證明作者不合邏輯。
15. 證明作者的分析與理由是不完整的。
· 主題閱讀的步驟
A. 觀察研究的範圍：主題閱讀的準備階段
1. 針對你要研究的主題，設計一份試驗性的書目。你可以參考圖書館的目錄、專家的建議、與書中的書目索引。
2. 瀏覽這份書目上所有的書，確定哪些與你的主題相關，並就你的主題建立起清楚的概念。
B. 主題閱讀：閱讀所有第一階段收集到的書籍
1. 瀏覽第一階段被認可與你主題相關的書，找出最相關的章節。
2. 根據主題創造出一套中立的詞彙，帶引作者與你達成共識------無論作者是否實際用到這些詞彙，所有的作者，或至少絕大部分的作者都可以用這套詞彙來詮釋。
3. 建立一個中立的主旨，列出一連串的問題------無論作者是否明白談過這些問題，所有的作者，或者至少大多數作者都要能解讀為針對這些問題提供了他們的回答。
4. 界定主要及次要議題。然後將作者針對各個問題的不同意見整理陳列在各個議題之旁。你要記住，各個作者之間或之中，不見得一定存在某個議題。有時候，你需要針對一些不是作者主要關心範圍的事情，把他的觀點解讀，才能建構出這種議題。
5. 分析這些討論。這得把問題和議題按順序排列，以求凸顯主題。比較有共通性的議題，要放在比較沒有共通性的議題之前。各個議題之間的關係也要清楚地界定出來。
注意: 理想上，要一直保持對話式的疏離與客觀。要做到這一點，每當你要解讀某個作者對一個議題的觀點時，必須從他自己的文章中引一段話來並列。
Newsweek: A Plan of Attack for Piece
Newsweek, Jan 12, 2009, p.28-p.31
This is a cover story of n the current situation in Mideast written by Daniel Klaidman.
War is diplomacy in the Middle East. It is still true today as Israel continues its attack on Hamas in Gaza, that were prompted by Hamas missile strikes on Israel. On Dec. 27 2008, Israeli ground forces began to move in Gaza. This military action was not just a reaction but also a calculation. Olmert, the prime minister of Israel, first wants to stop missiles which Hamas was sending into Israel and to force to renewal of the ceasefire. Second he wants to crush Hamas completely.
Looking for ”peace process” has been failed many times. There are many difficult details to be worked out: the exact border of a two-state compromise; the fate of Palestinian refugees; the future of Jerusalem. President Barack Obama and his secretary of state, Hillary Clinton, will face these challenges.
This is a cover story of n the current situation in Mideast written by Daniel Klaidman.
War is diplomacy in the Middle East. It is still true today as Israel continues its attack on Hamas in Gaza, that were prompted by Hamas missile strikes on Israel. On Dec. 27 2008, Israeli ground forces began to move in Gaza. This military action was not just a reaction but also a calculation. Olmert, the prime minister of Israel, first wants to stop missiles which Hamas was sending into Israel and to force to renewal of the ceasefire. Second he wants to crush Hamas completely.
Looking for ”peace process” has been failed many times. There are many difficult details to be worked out: the exact border of a two-state compromise; the fate of Palestinian refugees; the future of Jerusalem. President Barack Obama and his secretary of state, Hillary Clinton, will face these challenges.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Companionship of Books
By Samuel Smiles
A man may usually be known by the books he reads as well as the company he keeps; for there is a companionship of books as well as of men; and one should always live in the best company, whether it be of books or of men.
A good book may be among the best of friends. It is the same today that it always was, and it will never change. It is the most patient and cheerful of companions. It does not turn its back upon us in times of adversity of distress. It always receives us with the same kindness, amusing and instructing us in youth, and comforting and consoling us in age.
Men often discover their affinity to each other by the love they each have for a book. The book is a truer and higher bond of union. Men can think, feel and sympathize with each other through their favorite author. They live in him together, and he, in them.
A good book is often the best urn of a life enshrining the best that life could think out, for, the world of a man’s life is, for the most part, but the world of his thoughts. Thus the best books are treasuries of good words, the golden thoughts, which, remembered and cherished, become our constant companions and comforters.
Books possess an essence of immortality. They are by far the most lasting products of human effort. Temple and statues decay, but books survive. Time is of no account with great thoughts, which are as fresh today as when they first passed through their authors’ minds ages ago. What was then said and thought still speaks to us as vividly as ever from the printed page.
Books introduce us into the best society; they bring us into the presence of the greatest minds that have ever lived. We hear what they said and did; we see them as if they were really alive; we sympathize with them, enjoy with them, grieve with them; their experience becomes ours, and we feel as if we were in a measure actors with them in the scenes which they describe.
Vocabulary:
· turn one’s back upon sb.: 背棄某人
· in time of… : 處於…時期
· adversity: n. 逆境、患難
· adverse: a. 敵對，不利的
· distress: n. 困難；痛苦、苦惱 ＆ vt. 使痛苦、始苦惱
· amuse ：v. 娛樂、使開心
· console: vt. 安慰、慰問
· affinity: n. 喜愛、吸引力
· sympathize: vi. 同情；看法一致、有同感
· urn: n. 甕 ;此處指寶藏
· enshrine: vt. 置於神櫃內；祀奉；此為”珍藏”
· essence: n. 本質
· immortality: n. 不死、不朽性
· by far + 最高級性容詞: 最最
· vividly: adv. 鮮明地，歷歷在目地
· as + adj./adv. + as ever: 非常地
· grieve : vi. 悲傷 (常與 over 並用) & vt. 使悲傷
· in a / some measure = to a certain degree
A man may usually be known by the books he reads as well as the company he keeps; for there is a companionship of books as well as of men; and one should always live in the best company, whether it be of books or of men.
A good book may be among the best of friends. It is the same today that it always was, and it will never change. It is the most patient and cheerful of companions. It does not turn its back upon us in times of adversity of distress. It always receives us with the same kindness, amusing and instructing us in youth, and comforting and consoling us in age.
Men often discover their affinity to each other by the love they each have for a book. The book is a truer and higher bond of union. Men can think, feel and sympathize with each other through their favorite author. They live in him together, and he, in them.
A good book is often the best urn of a life enshrining the best that life could think out, for, the world of a man’s life is, for the most part, but the world of his thoughts. Thus the best books are treasuries of good words, the golden thoughts, which, remembered and cherished, become our constant companions and comforters.
Books possess an essence of immortality. They are by far the most lasting products of human effort. Temple and statues decay, but books survive. Time is of no account with great thoughts, which are as fresh today as when they first passed through their authors’ minds ages ago. What was then said and thought still speaks to us as vividly as ever from the printed page.
Books introduce us into the best society; they bring us into the presence of the greatest minds that have ever lived. We hear what they said and did; we see them as if they were really alive; we sympathize with them, enjoy with them, grieve with them; their experience becomes ours, and we feel as if we were in a measure actors with them in the scenes which they describe.
Vocabulary:
· turn one’s back upon sb.: 背棄某人
· in time of… : 處於…時期
· adversity: n. 逆境、患難
· adverse: a. 敵對，不利的
· distress: n. 困難；痛苦、苦惱 ＆ vt. 使痛苦、始苦惱
· amuse ：v. 娛樂、使開心
· console: vt. 安慰、慰問
· affinity: n. 喜愛、吸引力
· sympathize: vi. 同情；看法一致、有同感
· urn: n. 甕 ;此處指寶藏
· enshrine: vt. 置於神櫃內；祀奉；此為”珍藏”
· essence: n. 本質
· immortality: n. 不死、不朽性
· by far + 最高級性容詞: 最最
· vividly: adv. 鮮明地，歷歷在目地
· as + adj./adv. + as ever: 非常地
· grieve : vi. 悲傷 (常與 over 並用) & vt. 使悲傷
· in a / some measure = to a certain degree
The Happy Door
By Mildred Cram
Happiness is like a pebble dropped into a pool to set in motion an ever-widening circle of ripples. As Stevenson has said, being happy is a duty.
There is no exact definition of the word happiness. Happy people are happy for all sorts of reasons. The key is not wealth or physical well-being, since we find beggars, invalids and so-called failures who are extremely happy.
Being happy is a sort of unexpected dividend. But staying happy is an accomplishment, a triumph of soul and character. It is not selfish to strive for it. It is, indeed, a duty to ourselves and others.
Being unhappy is like an infectious disease; it causes people to shrink away from the sufferer. He soon finds himself alone, miserable and embittered. There is, however, a cure so simple as to seem, at first glance, ridiculous: If you don’t feel happy, pretend to be!
It works. Before long you will find that instead of repelling people, you attract them. You discover how deeply rewarding it is to be the center of wider and wider circles of good will.
Then the make-believe becomes a reality. You possess the secret of peace of mind, and can forget yourself in being of service to others.
Being happy, once it is realize as a duty and established as a habit, opens doors into unimaginable gardens thronged with grateful friends.
Vocabulary:
· ever-widening: a. 不斷擴張的
· a sort of = a kind of
· invalid : n. 病弱的人 & a. 無效的
· failure: n. 失敗的人事物(C) ；失敗(U)
· dividend: n. 股息(此 引申”好處”)
· accomplishment: n. 成就；才藝
· strive (for N / to V) : (努力爭取/ 努力；奮力)
· strive, strove, striven
· infectious: a. 傳染性的，易傳染的
· be infected with…: 感染
· embittered: a. 難受的
· embitter: vt. 使苦; 使難受
· cure sb of 疾病
· so …as to V = so … that + S+V
· instead of Ving, S+V = rather than V, S+V 非但不…，反而….
· be rewarded with: 被用….來酬謝/獎賞
· in reward for = as a reward for 來酬謝…；作為….的獎賞
· be of service to sb = be of help to sb
· throng: vt.聚集、擠滿 n. 群眾
· be thronged with = be filled with = be crowded with
· a throng of 一群….
Happiness is like a pebble dropped into a pool to set in motion an ever-widening circle of ripples. As Stevenson has said, being happy is a duty.
There is no exact definition of the word happiness. Happy people are happy for all sorts of reasons. The key is not wealth or physical well-being, since we find beggars, invalids and so-called failures who are extremely happy.
Being happy is a sort of unexpected dividend. But staying happy is an accomplishment, a triumph of soul and character. It is not selfish to strive for it. It is, indeed, a duty to ourselves and others.
Being unhappy is like an infectious disease; it causes people to shrink away from the sufferer. He soon finds himself alone, miserable and embittered. There is, however, a cure so simple as to seem, at first glance, ridiculous: If you don’t feel happy, pretend to be!
It works. Before long you will find that instead of repelling people, you attract them. You discover how deeply rewarding it is to be the center of wider and wider circles of good will.
Then the make-believe becomes a reality. You possess the secret of peace of mind, and can forget yourself in being of service to others.
Being happy, once it is realize as a duty and established as a habit, opens doors into unimaginable gardens thronged with grateful friends.
Vocabulary:
· ever-widening: a. 不斷擴張的
· a sort of = a kind of
· invalid : n. 病弱的人 & a. 無效的
· failure: n. 失敗的人事物(C) ；失敗(U)
· dividend: n. 股息(此 引申”好處”)
· accomplishment: n. 成就；才藝
· strive (for N / to V) : (努力爭取/ 努力；奮力)
· strive, strove, striven
· infectious: a. 傳染性的，易傳染的
· be infected with…: 感染
· embittered: a. 難受的
· embitter: vt. 使苦; 使難受
· cure sb of 疾病
· so …as to V = so … that + S+V
· instead of Ving, S+V = rather than V, S+V 非但不…，反而….
· be rewarded with: 被用….來酬謝/獎賞
· in reward for = as a reward for 來酬謝…；作為….的獎賞
· be of service to sb = be of help to sb
· throng: vt.聚集、擠滿 n. 群眾
· be thronged with = be filled with = be crowded with
· a throng of 一群….
Advice to a Young Man
By Robert Jones Burdette
Remember, my son, you have to work. Whether you handle a pick or a pen, a wheel-barrow or a set of books, you must work. If you look around, you will see the men who are the most able to live the rest of their life without work are the men who work the hardest. Don’t be afraid of killing yourself with overwork. It is beyond your power to do that on the sunny side of thirty. They die sometimes, but it is because they quit work at six in the evening, and do not go home until two in the morning. It is the interval that kills, my son. The work gives you an appetite for your meals; it lends solidity to your slumbers; it gives you a perfect and grateful appreciation of a holiday.
There are young men who do not work, but the world is not proud of them. It does not know their names, even. Nobody likes them; the great, busy world does not know that they are there. So find out what you want to be and do, and take off your coat and make a dust in the world. The busier you are, the less harm you will be apt to get into, the sweeter will be your sleep, the brighter and happier your holidays, and the better satisfied will the world be with you.
Vocabulary:
· wheel-barrow : 單輪手推車
· It is beyond one’s power to V: 從事….超過某人的能力，某人無能力….
· (be) on the sunny/ shady side of thirty: 不到三十多歲/三十多歲
· appetite: n. 食慾
· solidity: n. 堅硬，穩固
· slumber = sleep
· be apt to V: 易於…，有…傾向
Remember, my son, you have to work. Whether you handle a pick or a pen, a wheel-barrow or a set of books, you must work. If you look around, you will see the men who are the most able to live the rest of their life without work are the men who work the hardest. Don’t be afraid of killing yourself with overwork. It is beyond your power to do that on the sunny side of thirty. They die sometimes, but it is because they quit work at six in the evening, and do not go home until two in the morning. It is the interval that kills, my son. The work gives you an appetite for your meals; it lends solidity to your slumbers; it gives you a perfect and grateful appreciation of a holiday.
There are young men who do not work, but the world is not proud of them. It does not know their names, even. Nobody likes them; the great, busy world does not know that they are there. So find out what you want to be and do, and take off your coat and make a dust in the world. The busier you are, the less harm you will be apt to get into, the sweeter will be your sleep, the brighter and happier your holidays, and the better satisfied will the world be with you.
Vocabulary:
· wheel-barrow : 單輪手推車
· It is beyond one’s power to V: 從事….超過某人的能力，某人無能力….
· (be) on the sunny/ shady side of thirty: 不到三十多歲/三十多歲
· appetite: n. 食慾
· solidity: n. 堅硬，穩固
· slumber = sleep
· be apt to V: 易於…，有…傾向
Research papers for Dummies
· Clarify the goals of a research project
· Knowing the basic parts of a research paper
· Distinguish between different types of research papers
· Understanding the steps involved in writing a research paper
1. Decide what to write about
2. Conduct a survey of source
3. Take notes, round one
4. Create a thesis statement or topic sentence
5. Take notes, round two
6. Prepare to write
7. Write, round one
8. Write, round two
9. Place the finishing touches
· Knowing the basic parts of a research paper
· Distinguish between different types of research papers
· Understanding the steps involved in writing a research paper
1. Decide what to write about
2. Conduct a survey of source
3. Take notes, round one
4. Create a thesis statement or topic sentence
5. Take notes, round two
6. Prepare to write
7. Write, round one
8. Write, round two
9. Place the finishing touches
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
We're Just Beginning
By Charles F. Kettering
“We are reading the first verse of the first chapter of a book whose pages are infinite…”
I do not know who wrote these words, but I have always liked them as a reminder that the future can be anything we want to make it. We can take the mysterious, hazy future and carve out of it anything that we can imagine, just as a sculptor carves a statue from a shapeless stone.
We are all in the position of the farmer. If we plant a good seed, we reap a good harvest. If our seed is poor and full of weeds, we reap a useless crop. If we plant nothing at all, we harvest nothing at all.
I want the future to be better than the past. I don’t want it contaminated by the mistakes and errors with which history is filled. We should all be concerned about the future because that is where we will spend the remainder of our lives.
The past is gone and static. Nothing we can do will change it. The future is before us and dynamic. Everything we do will affect it. Each day brings with it new frontiers, in our homes and in our businesses, if we will only recognize them. We are just at the beginning of the progress in every field of human endeavor.
“We are reading the first verse of the first chapter of a book whose pages are infinite…”
I do not know who wrote these words, but I have always liked them as a reminder that the future can be anything we want to make it. We can take the mysterious, hazy future and carve out of it anything that we can imagine, just as a sculptor carves a statue from a shapeless stone.
We are all in the position of the farmer. If we plant a good seed, we reap a good harvest. If our seed is poor and full of weeds, we reap a useless crop. If we plant nothing at all, we harvest nothing at all.
I want the future to be better than the past. I don’t want it contaminated by the mistakes and errors with which history is filled. We should all be concerned about the future because that is where we will spend the remainder of our lives.
The past is gone and static. Nothing we can do will change it. The future is before us and dynamic. Everything we do will affect it. Each day brings with it new frontiers, in our homes and in our businesses, if we will only recognize them. We are just at the beginning of the progress in every field of human endeavor.
The Joy of Labor
by Anonymous
Wise men of ancient times and successful men of today have told us that labor is sweet. Its reward is not material gain but one becomes by it. Work does much more for us than just giving us a living; it gives us our life and the reason for living. The real joys of life come from doing something and doing it well.
All of us hope for success, but it is illusive and hard to keep. It nearly always slips away from one like sand through the fingers, like water through a leaky pail, unless it is held tight by hard work, day by day, night by night, year in year out. Everyone who fears failure should work harder and harder with a faithful heart as long as he lasts.
Wise men of ancient times and successful men of today have told us that labor is sweet. Its reward is not material gain but one becomes by it. Work does much more for us than just giving us a living; it gives us our life and the reason for living. The real joys of life come from doing something and doing it well.
All of us hope for success, but it is illusive and hard to keep. It nearly always slips away from one like sand through the fingers, like water through a leaky pail, unless it is held tight by hard work, day by day, night by night, year in year out. Everyone who fears failure should work harder and harder with a faithful heart as long as he lasts.
A Great Friend
by Anonymous
As I am now a senior high school student, I have a great many friends, but there is one whom I prize over all the rest. I first made his acquaintance when I began to go to school. He has been my constant companion ever since.
Though he is serious in appearance, he never fails to be interesting. Often he is clever, sometimes even merry and gay. He is the most knowledgeable friend a person could have. He knows virtually every language of the world, all the events of history, and the worlds of all the great poets and philosophers. A kindly benefactor, he is admired and enjoyed by everyone who makes his acquaintance.
To me, he has been a great teacher as well as a friend. He first taught me the secrets of my own language and then those of others. With these keys he showed us how to unlock all the arts and sciences of man.
My friend is endlessly patient. Dull though I may be, I can return to him again and again, and he is always ready to teach me. When I am bored, he entertains me. When I am dispirited, He lifts me up. When I am lonely, he keeps me company. He is a friend not only to me but to millions around the world. Shall I tell you his name? His name is “Reading.”
As I am now a senior high school student, I have a great many friends, but there is one whom I prize over all the rest. I first made his acquaintance when I began to go to school. He has been my constant companion ever since.
Though he is serious in appearance, he never fails to be interesting. Often he is clever, sometimes even merry and gay. He is the most knowledgeable friend a person could have. He knows virtually every language of the world, all the events of history, and the worlds of all the great poets and philosophers. A kindly benefactor, he is admired and enjoyed by everyone who makes his acquaintance.
To me, he has been a great teacher as well as a friend. He first taught me the secrets of my own language and then those of others. With these keys he showed us how to unlock all the arts and sciences of man.
My friend is endlessly patient. Dull though I may be, I can return to him again and again, and he is always ready to teach me. When I am bored, he entertains me. When I am dispirited, He lifts me up. When I am lonely, he keeps me company. He is a friend not only to me but to millions around the world. Shall I tell you his name? His name is “Reading.”
Monday, January 5, 2009
A Bad Day
(1)
I overslept and missed my train,
slipped on the sidewalk
in the pouring rain,
sprained my ankle,
skinned my knees,
broken my glasses,
lost my keys,
got stuck in the elevator,
it wouldn’t go,
kicked it twice and stubbed my toe,
bought a pen that didn’t write,
took it back and had a fight,
went home angry,
locked the door,
crawled into bed,
couldn’t take any more.
(2)
The bread was stale,
it was four days old.
The milk was sour.
The coffee was cold.
The butter was rancil.
The steak was tough.
The service was dreadful.
The waiter was rough.
My bill was huge.
His tip was small.
I’m sorry I went to that place at all.
(from Jazz Chauts, by Carolyn Graham)
I overslept and missed my train,
slipped on the sidewalk
in the pouring rain,
sprained my ankle,
skinned my knees,
broken my glasses,
lost my keys,
got stuck in the elevator,
it wouldn’t go,
kicked it twice and stubbed my toe,
bought a pen that didn’t write,
took it back and had a fight,
went home angry,
locked the door,
crawled into bed,
couldn’t take any more.
(2)
The bread was stale,
it was four days old.
The milk was sour.
The coffee was cold.
The butter was rancil.
The steak was tough.
The service was dreadful.
The waiter was rough.
My bill was huge.
His tip was small.
I’m sorry I went to that place at all.
(from Jazz Chauts, by Carolyn Graham)
In Other Words
The Art of Metacommentary
Use Metacommentary to Clarify and Elaborate
Try to inserting the following types of metacommenatry:
· In other words, ______.
· What ______ really means is ______.
· My point is ______.
Titles as Metacommentary
Use Other Moves as Metacommentary
· Entertaining objects
· Adding transitions
· Framing quotations
· Answering “so what?” and “who cares?”
Templates for Introducing Metacommentary
To Ward Off Potential Misunderstandings
· Essentially, I am arguing that ______.
· My point is not that we should ______, but that we should ______.
· What ______ really mean is ______.
To Alert Readers to an Elaboration of a Previous Idea
· In other words, ______.
· To pull it another way, ______.
To Provide Readers with a Roadmap to Your Text
· Chapter 2 explores ______, while Chapter 3 examines ______.
· Having just argued that ______, let us now turn our attention to ______.
To Move From a General Claim to a Specific Example
· For example, ______.
· ______, for instance, demonstrates ______.
· Consider ______, for example.
· To take a case in point, ______.
To Indicate that a Claim is Especially Important or Less Important
· Even more important, ______.
· But above all, ______.
· Incidentally, ______.
· By the way, ______.
To Help You Anticipate and Respond to Objection
· Although some readers may object that ______, I would answer that ______.
To Guide Reader to Your Most General Point
· In sum, then, ______.
· My conclusion, then, is that ______.
· In short, ______.
Use Metacommentary to Clarify and Elaborate
Try to inserting the following types of metacommenatry:
· In other words, ______.
· What ______ really means is ______.
· My point is ______.
Titles as Metacommentary
Use Other Moves as Metacommentary
· Entertaining objects
· Adding transitions
· Framing quotations
· Answering “so what?” and “who cares?”
Templates for Introducing Metacommentary
To Ward Off Potential Misunderstandings
· Essentially, I am arguing that ______.
· My point is not that we should ______, but that we should ______.
· What ______ really mean is ______.
To Alert Readers to an Elaboration of a Previous Idea
· In other words, ______.
· To pull it another way, ______.
To Provide Readers with a Roadmap to Your Text
· Chapter 2 explores ______, while Chapter 3 examines ______.
· Having just argued that ______, let us now turn our attention to ______.
To Move From a General Claim to a Specific Example
· For example, ______.
· ______, for instance, demonstrates ______.
· Consider ______, for example.
· To take a case in point, ______.
To Indicate that a Claim is Especially Important or Less Important
· Even more important, ______.
· But above all, ______.
· Incidentally, ______.
· By the way, ______.
To Help You Anticipate and Respond to Objection
· Although some readers may object that ______, I would answer that ______.
To Guide Reader to Your Most General Point
· In sum, then, ______.
· My conclusion, then, is that ______.
· In short, ______.
As a Result
Connecting the Parts
1. Using transition terms (like “therefore” and “yet” );
2. Adding pointing words (like “this” or “such”);
3. Using certain key terms and phrases throughout your entire text;
4. Repeating yourself, but with a difference
Use Transitions
· Addition
Also, and, besides, furthermore, in addition, indeed, in fact, moreover, so too
· Example
After all, as an illustration, for example, for instance, specifically, to take a case in point
· Elaboration
Actually, by extension, in short, that is, in other words, to put it another way, to put it bluntly, to put it succinctly, ultimately
· Comparison
Along the same lines, in the same way, likewise, similarly
· Contrast
Although, but, by contrast, conversely, despite the fact that , even though, however, in contrast, nevertheless, on the contrary, on the other hand, regardless, whereas, while yet
· Cause and Effect
Accordingly, as a result, consequently, hence, since, so, then, therefore, thus
· Concession
Admittedly, although it is true, granted naturally, of course, to be sure
· Conclusion
As a result, consequently, hence, in conclusion, in short, in sum, therefore, thus, to sum up, to summarize
Use Pointing Words:
The most common of these pointing words include “this,” ”these,” “that”, “those,” “their,” and “such” (as in “these pointing words” near the start of this sentence ) and simple pronouns like “his,” “he,” “her,” “she,” “it,” and “their.”
Repeat Key Terms and Phrases
A third move you can make to connect the parts of your argument is to develop a constellation of key terms and phrases, including their synonyms and antonyms, that you repeat throughout your text.
A series of contrasting words and phrases:
· Rebel against/ submit
· Told we were equal/ told we were subordinate
· Told we could change history/ told we were trapped by history
· Infuriated/ seduced
· I adore/ I despite
· I want/ I think wanting … is about the most dumb-ass goal
· Stokes my desire/ trigger my bile
· On the one hand/ on the other hand
Repeat Yourself ---But with a Difference
1. Using transition terms (like “therefore” and “yet” );
2. Adding pointing words (like “this” or “such”);
3. Using certain key terms and phrases throughout your entire text;
4. Repeating yourself, but with a difference
Use Transitions
· Addition
Also, and, besides, furthermore, in addition, indeed, in fact, moreover, so too
· Example
After all, as an illustration, for example, for instance, specifically, to take a case in point
· Elaboration
Actually, by extension, in short, that is, in other words, to put it another way, to put it bluntly, to put it succinctly, ultimately
· Comparison
Along the same lines, in the same way, likewise, similarly
· Contrast
Although, but, by contrast, conversely, despite the fact that , even though, however, in contrast, nevertheless, on the contrary, on the other hand, regardless, whereas, while yet
· Cause and Effect
Accordingly, as a result, consequently, hence, since, so, then, therefore, thus
· Concession
Admittedly, although it is true, granted naturally, of course, to be sure
· Conclusion
As a result, consequently, hence, in conclusion, in short, in sum, therefore, thus, to sum up, to summarize
Use Pointing Words:
The most common of these pointing words include “this,” ”these,” “that”, “those,” “their,” and “such” (as in “these pointing words” near the start of this sentence ) and simple pronouns like “his,” “he,” “her,” “she,” “it,” and “their.”
Repeat Key Terms and Phrases
A third move you can make to connect the parts of your argument is to develop a constellation of key terms and phrases, including their synonyms and antonyms, that you repeat throughout your text.
A series of contrasting words and phrases:
· Rebel against/ submit
· Told we were equal/ told we were subordinate
· Told we could change history/ told we were trapped by history
· Infuriated/ seduced
· I adore/ I despite
· I want/ I think wanting … is about the most dumb-ass goal
· Stokes my desire/ trigger my bile
· On the one hand/ on the other hand
Repeat Yourself ---But with a Difference
So What? Who Cares?
Saying Why It Matters
“Who Cares?”
Templates for Indicating Who Cares
· ______ used to think ______. But recently [or within the past few decades] ______ suggest that _______.
· This interpretation challenges the work of those critics who have long assumed that ______.
· These findings challenge the work of earlier researchers, who tended to assume that ______.
· Recent studies like these shed new light on ______, which previous studies had not addressed.
· But who really cares? Who besides me and a handful of recent researchers has a stake in these claims? At the very least, the researchers who assumed that fat ______ should care.
· Researchers have long assumed that ______. For instance, one eminent scholar of cell biology, ______, assumed in ______, her seminal work on cell structures and functions, that fat cells ______. As ______ herself put it, “______”(200-). Another leading scientist, ______, argued that fat cells “______” (200-). Ultimately, when it came to the nature of fat, the basic assumption was that ______. But a new body of research shows that fat cells are far more complex and that ______.
· If sports enthusiasts stopped to think about it, many of them might simply assume that the most successful athletes ______. However, new research shows ______.
· These findings challenge dieters’ common assumption that ______.
· At first glance, teenagers might say ______. But on closer inspection ______.
“So What?”
Templates for Establishing Why You Claims Matter
· X matters /is important because ______.
· Although X may seem trivial, it is in fact crucial in terms of today’s concern over ______.
· Ultimately, what is at stake here is ______.
· These findings have important consequences for the broader domain of ______.
· My discussion of X is in fact addressing the larger matter of ______.
· These conclusions/ This discovery will have significant applications in ______ as well as in ______.
·
· Although X may seem of concern to only a small group of ______, it should in fact concern anyone who cares about ______.
“Who Cares?”
Templates for Indicating Who Cares
· ______ used to think ______. But recently [or within the past few decades] ______ suggest that _______.
· This interpretation challenges the work of those critics who have long assumed that ______.
· These findings challenge the work of earlier researchers, who tended to assume that ______.
· Recent studies like these shed new light on ______, which previous studies had not addressed.
· But who really cares? Who besides me and a handful of recent researchers has a stake in these claims? At the very least, the researchers who assumed that fat ______ should care.
· Researchers have long assumed that ______. For instance, one eminent scholar of cell biology, ______, assumed in ______, her seminal work on cell structures and functions, that fat cells ______. As ______ herself put it, “______”(200-). Another leading scientist, ______, argued that fat cells “______” (200-). Ultimately, when it came to the nature of fat, the basic assumption was that ______. But a new body of research shows that fat cells are far more complex and that ______.
· If sports enthusiasts stopped to think about it, many of them might simply assume that the most successful athletes ______. However, new research shows ______.
· These findings challenge dieters’ common assumption that ______.
· At first glance, teenagers might say ______. But on closer inspection ______.
“So What?”
Templates for Establishing Why You Claims Matter
· X matters /is important because ______.
· Although X may seem trivial, it is in fact crucial in terms of today’s concern over ______.
· Ultimately, what is at stake here is ______.
· These findings have important consequences for the broader domain of ______.
· My discussion of X is in fact addressing the larger matter of ______.
· These conclusions/ This discovery will have significant applications in ______ as well as in ______.
·
· Although X may seem of concern to only a small group of ______, it should in fact concern anyone who cares about ______.
Skeptics May Object
Planting a Naysayer in Your Text
Anticipate Objects
Templates for Entertaining Objections
· As this point I would like to raise some objections that have been inspired by the skeptic in me. She feels that I have been ignoring ______. “______,” she says to me, “______.”
· Yet some readers may challenge my view that ______. After all, many believe that ______. Indeed, my own argument that ______ seems to ignore ______ and ______.
· Of course, many will probably disagree with this assertion that ______.
Templates for Naming Your Naysayers
· Here many feminists would probably object that ______.
· But social Darwinists would certainly take issue with the argument that ______.
· Biologists, of course, may want to dispute my claim that ______.
· Nevertheless, both followers and critics of Malcolm X will probably suggests otherwise and argue that ______.
The way to minimize the problem of stereotyping, then, is not to categorically reject labels but to refine and qualify their use.
· Although not all Christians think alike, some of them will probably dispute my claim that ______.
· Non-native English speakers are so diverse in their views that it’s hard to generalize about them, but some are likely to object on the grounds that ______.
Templates for Introducing Objects Informally
· But is my proposal realistic? What are the chances of its actually being adopted?
· Yet is it always true that _____? Is it always the case, as I have been suggesting that _____?
· However, does the evidence I’ve cited prove conclusively that ______?
· “Impossible,” you say. “Your evidence must be skewed.”
Represent Objection fairly
Answer Objections
Templates for Making Concession While Still Standing Your Ground
· Although I grant that ______, I still maintain that ______.
· Proponents of X are right to argue that ______. But they exaggerate when they claim that ______.
· While it is true that ______, it does not necessarily follow that ______.
· On the one hand, I agree with X that ______. But on the other hand, I still insist that ______.
Anticipate Objects
Templates for Entertaining Objections
· As this point I would like to raise some objections that have been inspired by the skeptic in me. She feels that I have been ignoring ______. “______,” she says to me, “______.”
· Yet some readers may challenge my view that ______. After all, many believe that ______. Indeed, my own argument that ______ seems to ignore ______ and ______.
· Of course, many will probably disagree with this assertion that ______.
Templates for Naming Your Naysayers
· Here many feminists would probably object that ______.
· But social Darwinists would certainly take issue with the argument that ______.
· Biologists, of course, may want to dispute my claim that ______.
· Nevertheless, both followers and critics of Malcolm X will probably suggests otherwise and argue that ______.
The way to minimize the problem of stereotyping, then, is not to categorically reject labels but to refine and qualify their use.
· Although not all Christians think alike, some of them will probably dispute my claim that ______.
· Non-native English speakers are so diverse in their views that it’s hard to generalize about them, but some are likely to object on the grounds that ______.
Templates for Introducing Objects Informally
· But is my proposal realistic? What are the chances of its actually being adopted?
· Yet is it always true that _____? Is it always the case, as I have been suggesting that _____?
· However, does the evidence I’ve cited prove conclusively that ______?
· “Impossible,” you say. “Your evidence must be skewed.”
Represent Objection fairly
Answer Objections
Templates for Making Concession While Still Standing Your Ground
· Although I grant that ______, I still maintain that ______.
· Proponents of X are right to argue that ______. But they exaggerate when they claim that ______.
· While it is true that ______, it does not necessarily follow that ______.
· On the one hand, I agree with X that ______. But on the other hand, I still insist that ______.
And Yet
Distinguishing What You Say from What They Say
Determine Who Is Saying What in the Texts You Read
Templates for Signaling Who Is Saying What in Your Own Writing
· X argues ______.
· According to both X and Y, ______.
· Politicians, X argues, should ______.
· Most athletes will tell you that ______.
· My own view, however, is that ______.
· I agree, as X may not realize, that ______.
It is a good idea to mix first-person assertions with ones like the following:
· X is right that ______.
· The evidence shows that ______.
· X’s assertion that ______ does not fit the facts.
· Anyone familiar with _____ should agree that ______.
· But ______ are real, and are arguably the most significant factor in ______.
Templates for Embedding Voice Markers
· X overlooks what I consider an important point about ______.
· My own view is that what X insists is a ______ is in fact a ______.
· I wholeheartedly endorse what X calls ______.
· These conclusions, which X discusses in _____, add weight to the argument that ______.
When writers fail to use voice-marking devices like these, their summaries of others’ views tend to become confused with their own ideas---and vice versa.
Determine Who Is Saying What in the Texts You Read
Templates for Signaling Who Is Saying What in Your Own Writing
· X argues ______.
· According to both X and Y, ______.
· Politicians, X argues, should ______.
· Most athletes will tell you that ______.
· My own view, however, is that ______.
· I agree, as X may not realize, that ______.
It is a good idea to mix first-person assertions with ones like the following:
· X is right that ______.
· The evidence shows that ______.
· X’s assertion that ______ does not fit the facts.
· Anyone familiar with _____ should agree that ______.
· But ______ are real, and are arguably the most significant factor in ______.
Templates for Embedding Voice Markers
· X overlooks what I consider an important point about ______.
· My own view is that what X insists is a ______ is in fact a ______.
· I wholeheartedly endorse what X calls ______.
· These conclusions, which X discusses in _____, add weight to the argument that ______.
When writers fail to use voice-marking devices like these, their summaries of others’ views tend to become confused with their own ideas---and vice versa.
Yes/ No / Okay, But
Three Ways to Respond
Disagree --- and Explain Why
Templates for Disagreeing, with Reasons
· I think X is mistaken because she overlooks ______.
· X’s claim that ______ rests upon the questionable assumption that ______.
· I disagree with X’s view that ______ because, as recent research has shown, ______.
· X contradicts herself/ can’t have it both ways. On the one hand, she argues ______. But on the other hand, she also says ______.
· By focusing on ______. X overlooks the deeper problem of ______.
· X claims ______, but we don’t need him to tell us that. Anyone familiar with ______ has long known that ______.
Agree --- But with a Difference
Templates for Agreeing
· I agree that ______ because my experience ______ confirm it.
· X is surely right about ______ because, as she may not be aware, recent studies have shown that ______.
· X’s theory of ______ is extremely useful because it sheds insight on the difficult problem of ______.
· I agree that ______, a point that needs emphasizing since so many people believe ______.
· Those unfamiliar with this school to thought may be interested to know that it basically boils down to ______.
Templates for agreeing with one view while challenging another
· I agree that ______, a point that needs emphasizing since so many people believe ______.
· If group X is right that ______, as I think they are, then we need to reassess the popular assumption that ______.
Agree and Disagree Simultaneously
Templates for Agreeing and Disagreeing Simultaneously
· Although I agree with X up to a point, I cannot accept his overall conclusion that ______.
· Although I disagree with much that X says, I fully endorse his final conclusion that ______.
· Though I concede that ______, I still insist that ______.
· X is right that ______, but she seems on more dubious ground when she claim that ______.
· While X is probably wrong when she claims that ______, she is right that ______.
· Whereas X provides ample evidence that ______, Y and Z’s research on ______ and ______ convinces me that ______ instead.
“I’m of two minds” or “mixed feelings”
· I’m of two minds about X’s claim that ______. On the one hand, I agree that ______. On the other hand, I’m not sure if ______.
· My feelings on the issue are mixed. I do support X’s position that ______, but I find Y’s argument about ______ and Z’s research on _____ to be equally persuasive.
Disagree --- and Explain Why
Templates for Disagreeing, with Reasons
· I think X is mistaken because she overlooks ______.
· X’s claim that ______ rests upon the questionable assumption that ______.
· I disagree with X’s view that ______ because, as recent research has shown, ______.
· X contradicts herself/ can’t have it both ways. On the one hand, she argues ______. But on the other hand, she also says ______.
· By focusing on ______. X overlooks the deeper problem of ______.
· X claims ______, but we don’t need him to tell us that. Anyone familiar with ______ has long known that ______.
Agree --- But with a Difference
Templates for Agreeing
· I agree that ______ because my experience ______ confirm it.
· X is surely right about ______ because, as she may not be aware, recent studies have shown that ______.
· X’s theory of ______ is extremely useful because it sheds insight on the difficult problem of ______.
· I agree that ______, a point that needs emphasizing since so many people believe ______.
· Those unfamiliar with this school to thought may be interested to know that it basically boils down to ______.
Templates for agreeing with one view while challenging another
· I agree that ______, a point that needs emphasizing since so many people believe ______.
· If group X is right that ______, as I think they are, then we need to reassess the popular assumption that ______.
Agree and Disagree Simultaneously
Templates for Agreeing and Disagreeing Simultaneously
· Although I agree with X up to a point, I cannot accept his overall conclusion that ______.
· Although I disagree with much that X says, I fully endorse his final conclusion that ______.
· Though I concede that ______, I still insist that ______.
· X is right that ______, but she seems on more dubious ground when she claim that ______.
· While X is probably wrong when she claims that ______, she is right that ______.
· Whereas X provides ample evidence that ______, Y and Z’s research on ______ and ______ convinces me that ______ instead.
“I’m of two minds” or “mixed feelings”
· I’m of two minds about X’s claim that ______. On the one hand, I agree that ______. On the other hand, I’m not sure if ______.
· My feelings on the issue are mixed. I do support X’s position that ______, but I find Y’s argument about ______ and Z’s research on _____ to be equally persuasive.
As He Himself Puts It
The Art of Quoting
Quote Relevant Passages
Frame Every Quotation
Templates for Introducing Quotations
· X states, “______.”
· As the prominent philosopher X put it, “______.”
· According to X, “______.”
· X himself writes, “______.”
· In her book, ______, X maintains that “______.”
· Writing in the journal Commentary, X complains that “______.”
· In X’s view, “______.”
· X agrees when she writes, “______.”
· X disagrees when he writes, “______.”
· X complicates matters further when she writes, “______.”
Templates for Explaining Quotations
· Basically, X is saying ______.
· In other words, X believes ______.
· In making this comment, X argues that ______.
· X is insisting that ______.
· X’s point is that ______.
· The essence of X’s argument is that ______.
Blend the Author’s Words with Your Own
How Not to Introduce Quotations
Quote Relevant Passages
Frame Every Quotation
Templates for Introducing Quotations
· X states, “______.”
· As the prominent philosopher X put it, “______.”
· According to X, “______.”
· X himself writes, “______.”
· In her book, ______, X maintains that “______.”
· Writing in the journal Commentary, X complains that “______.”
· In X’s view, “______.”
· X agrees when she writes, “______.”
· X disagrees when he writes, “______.”
· X complicates matters further when she writes, “______.”
Templates for Explaining Quotations
· Basically, X is saying ______.
· In other words, X believes ______.
· In making this comment, X argues that ______.
· X is insisting that ______.
· X’s point is that ______.
· The essence of X’s argument is that ______.
Blend the Author’s Words with Your Own
How Not to Introduce Quotations
Her Point Is
The Art of Summarizing
On the one hand, put yourself in their shoes.
On the other hand, know where you are going.
Summarizing Satirically
Use signal verbs that fit the action
Templates for Introducing Summaries and Quotations
· She demonstrates that ______.
· In fact, they celebrate the fact that ______.
· ______, he admits.
Verbs for Introducing Summaries and Quotations
Verbs for Making a Claim
· Argue
· Asset
· Believe
· Claim
· Emphasize
· Insist
· Observe
· Remind us
· Report
· Suggest
Verbs for Expressing Agreement
· Acknowledge
· Admire
· Agree
· Celebrate the fact that
· Corroborate
· Do not deny
· Endorse
· Extol
· Praise
· Reaffirm
· Support
· Verify
Verbs for Questioning or Disagreeing
· Complain
· Complicate
· Contend
· Contradict
· Deny
· Deplore the tendency to
· Disavow
· Question
· Refute
· Reject
· Renounce
· Repudiate
Verbs for Making Recommendations
· Advocate
· Call for
· Demand
· Encourage
· Exhort
· Implore
· Plead
· Recommend
· Urge
· Warn
On the one hand, put yourself in their shoes.
On the other hand, know where you are going.
Summarizing Satirically
Use signal verbs that fit the action
Templates for Introducing Summaries and Quotations
· She demonstrates that ______.
· In fact, they celebrate the fact that ______.
· ______, he admits.
Verbs for Introducing Summaries and Quotations
Verbs for Making a Claim
· Argue
· Asset
· Believe
· Claim
· Emphasize
· Insist
· Observe
· Remind us
· Report
· Suggest
Verbs for Expressing Agreement
· Acknowledge
· Admire
· Agree
· Celebrate the fact that
· Corroborate
· Do not deny
· Endorse
· Extol
· Praise
· Reaffirm
· Support
· Verify
Verbs for Questioning or Disagreeing
· Complain
· Complicate
· Contend
· Contradict
· Deny
· Deplore the tendency to
· Disavow
· Question
· Refute
· Reject
· Renounce
· Repudiate
Verbs for Making Recommendations
· Advocate
· Call for
· Demand
· Encourage
· Exhort
· Implore
· Plead
· Recommend
· Urge
· Warn
They Say
Starting with What Others Are Saying
Templates for Introducing What “They Say”
· A number of sociologists have recently suggested that X’s work has several fundamental problems.
· It has become common today to dismiss X’s contribution to the field of sociology.
· In their recent work, Y and Z have offered harsh critiques of Dr. X for ______ .
Templates for Introducing “Standard Veiws”
· Americans today tend to believe that ______.
· Conventional wisdom has it that ______.
· Common sense seems to dictate that ______.
· The standard way of thinking about topic X has it that ______.
· It is often said that ______.
· My whole life I have heard it said that ______.
· You would think that ______.
· Many people assume that ______.
Templates for Making What “They Say” Something You Say
· I’ve always believed that ______.
· When I was a child, I used to think that ______.
· Although I should know better by now, I cannot help thinking that ______.
· At the same time that I believe ______, I also believe ______.
Templates for Introducing Something Implied or Assumed
· Although none of them have ever said so directly, my teachers have often given me the impression that ______.
· One implication of X’s treatment of ______ is that ______.
· Although X does not say so directly, she apparently assumes that ______.
· While they rarely admit as much, ______ often take for granted that ______.
Templates for Introducing an Ongoing Debate
· In discussion of X, one controversial issue has been ______. On the one hand, ______ argues ______. On the other hand, ______ contends ______. Others even maintain ______. My own view is ______.
· When it comes to the topic of ______, most of us will readily agree that ______. Where this agreement usually ends, however, is on the question of ______. Whereas some are convinced that ______, others maintain that ______.
Keep What “They Say” in View
· In conclusion, then, as I suggested earlier, defenders of ______ can’t have it both ways. Their assertion that ______ is contradicted by their claim that ______.
Templates for Introducing What “They Say”
· A number of sociologists have recently suggested that X’s work has several fundamental problems.
· It has become common today to dismiss X’s contribution to the field of sociology.
· In their recent work, Y and Z have offered harsh critiques of Dr. X for ______ .
Templates for Introducing “Standard Veiws”
· Americans today tend to believe that ______.
· Conventional wisdom has it that ______.
· Common sense seems to dictate that ______.
· The standard way of thinking about topic X has it that ______.
· It is often said that ______.
· My whole life I have heard it said that ______.
· You would think that ______.
· Many people assume that ______.
Templates for Making What “They Say” Something You Say
· I’ve always believed that ______.
· When I was a child, I used to think that ______.
· Although I should know better by now, I cannot help thinking that ______.
· At the same time that I believe ______, I also believe ______.
Templates for Introducing Something Implied or Assumed
· Although none of them have ever said so directly, my teachers have often given me the impression that ______.
· One implication of X’s treatment of ______ is that ______.
· Although X does not say so directly, she apparently assumes that ______.
· While they rarely admit as much, ______ often take for granted that ______.
Templates for Introducing an Ongoing Debate
· In discussion of X, one controversial issue has been ______. On the one hand, ______ argues ______. On the other hand, ______ contends ______. Others even maintain ______. My own view is ______.
· When it comes to the topic of ______, most of us will readily agree that ______. Where this agreement usually ends, however, is on the question of ______. Whereas some are convinced that ______, others maintain that ______.
Keep What “They Say” in View
· In conclusion, then, as I suggested earlier, defenders of ______ can’t have it both ways. Their assertion that ______ is contradicted by their claim that ______.
They Say I Say
The Moves That Matter in Academic Writing
The book “They Say I Say” was written by Gerald Graff and Cathy Birkenstein.
The main goal of the book is to introduce basic moves that matter in academic writing.
Table of Contents
Part 1. “They Say”
1. “They Say”: Starting with What Others Are Saying
2. “Her Point Is”: The Art of Summarizing
3. “As He Himself Put It”: The Art of Quoting
Part 2. “I Say”
4. “Yes/ No/ Okay, But”: Three Ways to Respond
5. “And Yet”: Distinguishing What You Say from What They Say
6. “Skeptics May Object”: Planting a Naysayer in Your Text
7. “So What? Who Cares?”: Saying Why It Matters
Part 3. Tying It All Together
8. “As a Result”: Connecting the Parts
9. “Ain’t So/ Is Not”: Academic Writing Doesn’t Mean Setting Aside Your Own Voice
10. “In Other Words”: The Art of Metacommentary
The book “They Say I Say” was written by Gerald Graff and Cathy Birkenstein.
The main goal of the book is to introduce basic moves that matter in academic writing.
Table of Contents
Part 1. “They Say”
1. “They Say”: Starting with What Others Are Saying
2. “Her Point Is”: The Art of Summarizing
3. “As He Himself Put It”: The Art of Quoting
Part 2. “I Say”
4. “Yes/ No/ Okay, But”: Three Ways to Respond
5. “And Yet”: Distinguishing What You Say from What They Say
6. “Skeptics May Object”: Planting a Naysayer in Your Text
7. “So What? Who Cares?”: Saying Why It Matters
Part 3. Tying It All Together
8. “As a Result”: Connecting the Parts
9. “Ain’t So/ Is Not”: Academic Writing Doesn’t Mean Setting Aside Your Own Voice
10. “In Other Words”: The Art of Metacommentary
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Wasting Our Watts
We don’t need new drilling or new power plants. We need to get efficient
(From TIME, Jan 12, 2009)
This may sound too good to be true, but U.S. has a renewable energy resource that is perfectly clean, remarkably cheap, surprisingly abundant and immediately available. It has astounding potential to reduce the carbon emissions that threaten our planet, the dependence on foreign oil that threatens our security and the energy costs that threaten our wallets. Unlike coal and petroleum, it doesn’t pollute; unlike solar and wind, it doesn’t depend on weather; unlike ethanol, it doesn’t accelerate deforestation and inflate food price; unlike nuclear plants, it doesn’t raise uncomfortable questions about meltdowns or terrorist attacks or radioactive-waste storage, and it doesn’t take a decade to build. It isn’t what-if like hydrogen, clean coal and tidal power; it’s already proven to be workable, scalable and cost-effective. And we don’t need to import it.
This miracle juice goes by the distinctly boring name of energy efficiency, and it’s often ignored in the hubbub over alternative fuels, the nuclear renaissance, T. Boone Pickens and the green-tech economy.
Vocabulary:
Hubbub: n. 吵鬧聲、騷動
Ethanol: 酒精
(From TIME, Jan 12, 2009)
This may sound too good to be true, but U.S. has a renewable energy resource that is perfectly clean, remarkably cheap, surprisingly abundant and immediately available. It has astounding potential to reduce the carbon emissions that threaten our planet, the dependence on foreign oil that threatens our security and the energy costs that threaten our wallets. Unlike coal and petroleum, it doesn’t pollute; unlike solar and wind, it doesn’t depend on weather; unlike ethanol, it doesn’t accelerate deforestation and inflate food price; unlike nuclear plants, it doesn’t raise uncomfortable questions about meltdowns or terrorist attacks or radioactive-waste storage, and it doesn’t take a decade to build. It isn’t what-if like hydrogen, clean coal and tidal power; it’s already proven to be workable, scalable and cost-effective. And we don’t need to import it.
This miracle juice goes by the distinctly boring name of energy efficiency, and it’s often ignored in the hubbub over alternative fuels, the nuclear renaissance, T. Boone Pickens and the green-tech economy.
Vocabulary:
Hubbub: n. 吵鬧聲、騷動
Ethanol: 酒精
The Battle over Gaza
Provoked by Hamas rockets, Israel wreaks devastation on Gaza. As president-elect Obama stays mum, the stakes get even higher.
(From Time, Jan 12, 2009)
Near Gaza, the conflict between Israeli and Palestinian caused unending fight. At 11:30 a.m. on Dec. 27, the rolling boom of Israeli bombs and missiles slamming into Gaza. This military action has caused Israeli overkill. The Bush Administration blamed the escalation of violence squarely on Hamas. The chorus of condemnation will grow with the proportions of the conflict. However, the President-elect Obama seems unwilling to directly engage with the problem before the Jan. 20 Inauguration.
Vocabulary:
Provoke: 對…挑釁；煽動；激怒
Azure: n. The blue sky
Lopsided: 傾向一側的
Toll: 傷亡人數
Accusation: n. 指控
Escalation: n. 逐步上升
Inevitably: 不可避免的
Condemnation: n. 譴責
(From Time, Jan 12, 2009)
Near Gaza, the conflict between Israeli and Palestinian caused unending fight. At 11:30 a.m. on Dec. 27, the rolling boom of Israeli bombs and missiles slamming into Gaza. This military action has caused Israeli overkill. The Bush Administration blamed the escalation of violence squarely on Hamas. The chorus of condemnation will grow with the proportions of the conflict. However, the President-elect Obama seems unwilling to directly engage with the problem before the Jan. 20 Inauguration.
Vocabulary:
Provoke: 對…挑釁；煽動；激怒
Azure: n. The blue sky
Lopsided: 傾向一側的
Toll: 傷亡人數
Accusation: n. 指控
Escalation: n. 逐步上升
Inevitably: 不可避免的
Condemnation: n. 譴責
Adding Some Color to Your Life
Look at the world around you. How many colors do you see? The blue of the sky. The green of the trees. The red bricks and white tiles of the buildings. The colors of your clothes, your books, your food. Color is everywhere around us. It plays an important role in our lives.
Each color, for example, has a special meaning. However, sometimes these meanings are different in different cultures. In China, for example yellow is the color of the emperor, but in the West, when people see yellow baby chickens or yellow flowers, they often think of spring. For the Chinese, the color red suggests the wish for good things to happen. It is also the color for Chinese New Year and other celebrations. For Americans, red means love. It is the color for Valentine’s Day, but red and green together are Christmas colors. The Chinese wear white at funerals, but for most Western people, white is for weddings. They would never wear white to a funeral, only black.
Colors can also affect the way we feel and act. In recent years, some researchers have developed theories about the effects of color on our lives. Some of them believe that we can even use color to change our feelings or attitudes.
According to these researchers, for example, light blue can make people feel more patient and loving. If the members of your family are always fighting, you might try adding some of this color to your home. You could paint the walls light blue, for instance. Red, on the other hand, is a color full of energy. If you are always tired, perhaps you could buy yourself a bunch of red roses. If you feel sad or afraid, try wearing something orange. This is the color of courage. Yellow is a color that can help you study better. It represents thinking. So if your mind feels lazy, you might try putting some yellow decorations around your desk.
Of course, these ideas about color are just theories. Some people may take them seriously, and some may think they are meaningless. Others may enjoy trying them out just for fun. Why don’t you give them a try? Whether they work for you or not, at least they will make your life more colorful.
(from Far East English Reader vol.1)
Summery:
Color is everywhere around us and plays an important role in our lives. In different cultures, each color usually has a different meaning. In recent years, researchers claim different color has different effects on our lives.
Color:
Red, pink, orange, yellow, green, white, navyblue, purple, brown, black, gray, beige, indigo, blue.
Idioms and phrased:
1. play a(n) … role:
2. think of:
3. on the other hand
Each color, for example, has a special meaning. However, sometimes these meanings are different in different cultures. In China, for example yellow is the color of the emperor, but in the West, when people see yellow baby chickens or yellow flowers, they often think of spring. For the Chinese, the color red suggests the wish for good things to happen. It is also the color for Chinese New Year and other celebrations. For Americans, red means love. It is the color for Valentine’s Day, but red and green together are Christmas colors. The Chinese wear white at funerals, but for most Western people, white is for weddings. They would never wear white to a funeral, only black.
Colors can also affect the way we feel and act. In recent years, some researchers have developed theories about the effects of color on our lives. Some of them believe that we can even use color to change our feelings or attitudes.
According to these researchers, for example, light blue can make people feel more patient and loving. If the members of your family are always fighting, you might try adding some of this color to your home. You could paint the walls light blue, for instance. Red, on the other hand, is a color full of energy. If you are always tired, perhaps you could buy yourself a bunch of red roses. If you feel sad or afraid, try wearing something orange. This is the color of courage. Yellow is a color that can help you study better. It represents thinking. So if your mind feels lazy, you might try putting some yellow decorations around your desk.
Of course, these ideas about color are just theories. Some people may take them seriously, and some may think they are meaningless. Others may enjoy trying them out just for fun. Why don’t you give them a try? Whether they work for you or not, at least they will make your life more colorful.
(from Far East English Reader vol.1)
Summery:
Color is everywhere around us and plays an important role in our lives. In different cultures, each color usually has a different meaning. In recent years, researchers claim different color has different effects on our lives.
Color:
Red, pink, orange, yellow, green, white, navyblue, purple, brown, black, gray, beige, indigo, blue.
Idioms and phrased:
1. play a(n) … role:
2. think of:
3. on the other hand
Stage Two: Uncertainty
When someone is more special to us than others, we automatically move into stage two, uncertainty. When we begin to feel that we would really like to get to know someone and have an exclusive relationship, it is quite natural suddenly to shift and not feel so sure. For some that shift is like an earthquake and for others it is a mind tremor. Sometimes the size of the shift or the suddenness with which it occurs is a signal that this person has good potential.
You could actually be dating your soul mate, but in stage two of dating you may not know it.
When The Grass Looks Greener on the Other Side of the Fence
As long as man has not experienced the reality of making a woman happy, he will hold a fantasy picture.
In stage two, even if the grass on the other side of the fence begins to look greener, the man’s new objective is to look and dig a little deeper on his side of the fence, to stop looking at the grass and dig for the gold. He may or may not find it, but he will never find it if he doesn’t start digging.
To dig deeper he needs to ask himself these questions:
· Could I possibly be the right man for her?
· Could I possibly have what it takes to make her happy?
· Do I care for her?
· Do I want to make her happy?
· Does her happiness make me happy?
· Do I miss her when I am away from her?
When, over time, a man discovers an affirmative answer to each of these questions, then he is ready to move on to an exclusive relationship.
Why Men Begin to Doubt
A man’s doubts are dispelled not primarily by what a woman does for him, but by how she responds to what he does for her.
When a man focuses on what he wants, he is sure to miss the perfect woman for him.
When Women Are Uncertain
When a woman moves into stage two and feels uncertain, she reacts differently from a man. While a man tends to question whether he wants to pursue a relationship, a woman tends to question where the relationship is going. Quite often, she senses the man pulling away. To find reassurance, she makes one of two common mistakes. Either she starts asking questions about the relationship, or she may try to win him over. Both of these approaches can push him away or prevent him from feeling confident that he is the right guy for her.
In the uncertainty stage, when a woman doesn’t understand a man, she may easily begin to panic.
What a Woman Asks
· Did I do something wrong?
· Is there someone else?
· Does he still care?
· Will he call?
· Am I doing the right things?
· Am I doing enough?
· What can I do to regain his attention, interest, affection, and desire?
Unfortunately, all of these questions lure her in the wrong direction: she begins to pursue him.
For a woman, the stage of uncertainty should be a time to reflect on what she is getting from the man, not on what she could get. This is a time for the woman to stay open to his future advances, but more important, it is a time to fill up her life with the support of friends. This is a time to test whether he is really the right person for an exclusive relationship.
How to Avoid Pursuing Too Much
What to Do When He Doesn’t Call
The worst thing a woman can do is to call a man and interrogate him about his feelings about her and the relationship.
Just as time slows down for women in uncertainty, time can speed up for a man.
The Pressure to Give Back
Need and Obligation
By clearly realizing that she is under no obligation, a woman can begin to freely flirt with men and enjoy receiving what men can offer.
Just because a woman enjoys a man’s gift does not in any way obligate her to give more than a smile or a thank you.
The Desire for Intimacy Is Innocent
If a woman is not ready she can still be polite and firmly say no to man’s sexual advances.
Four Degrees of Physical Intimacy
A woman can say yes to different degrees of sex without having to go all the way. This is a very important insight, because to avoid intercourse, many women will not be physically affectionate or sexual at all. For a woman to feel comfortable being physically intimate, she needs to share a clear picture of how far she wants to go, and she must get a clear message from the man that he will respect what she wants.
· First Base: to do kissing and affection.
· Second Base: they begin to stimulate the first and second erogenous zones.
· Third Base: the full stimulation of the genitals without intercourse.
· Home Base
How to Say NO
When Waiting to Get Involved Is a Mistake
(From “ Mars and Venus on a Date” ch.4)
You could actually be dating your soul mate, but in stage two of dating you may not know it.
When The Grass Looks Greener on the Other Side of the Fence
As long as man has not experienced the reality of making a woman happy, he will hold a fantasy picture.
In stage two, even if the grass on the other side of the fence begins to look greener, the man’s new objective is to look and dig a little deeper on his side of the fence, to stop looking at the grass and dig for the gold. He may or may not find it, but he will never find it if he doesn’t start digging.
To dig deeper he needs to ask himself these questions:
· Could I possibly be the right man for her?
· Could I possibly have what it takes to make her happy?
· Do I care for her?
· Do I want to make her happy?
· Does her happiness make me happy?
· Do I miss her when I am away from her?
When, over time, a man discovers an affirmative answer to each of these questions, then he is ready to move on to an exclusive relationship.
Why Men Begin to Doubt
A man’s doubts are dispelled not primarily by what a woman does for him, but by how she responds to what he does for her.
When a man focuses on what he wants, he is sure to miss the perfect woman for him.
When Women Are Uncertain
When a woman moves into stage two and feels uncertain, she reacts differently from a man. While a man tends to question whether he wants to pursue a relationship, a woman tends to question where the relationship is going. Quite often, she senses the man pulling away. To find reassurance, she makes one of two common mistakes. Either she starts asking questions about the relationship, or she may try to win him over. Both of these approaches can push him away or prevent him from feeling confident that he is the right guy for her.
In the uncertainty stage, when a woman doesn’t understand a man, she may easily begin to panic.
What a Woman Asks
· Did I do something wrong?
· Is there someone else?
· Does he still care?
· Will he call?
· Am I doing the right things?
· Am I doing enough?
· What can I do to regain his attention, interest, affection, and desire?
Unfortunately, all of these questions lure her in the wrong direction: she begins to pursue him.
For a woman, the stage of uncertainty should be a time to reflect on what she is getting from the man, not on what she could get. This is a time for the woman to stay open to his future advances, but more important, it is a time to fill up her life with the support of friends. This is a time to test whether he is really the right person for an exclusive relationship.
How to Avoid Pursuing Too Much
What to Do When He Doesn’t Call
The worst thing a woman can do is to call a man and interrogate him about his feelings about her and the relationship.
Just as time slows down for women in uncertainty, time can speed up for a man.
The Pressure to Give Back
Need and Obligation
By clearly realizing that she is under no obligation, a woman can begin to freely flirt with men and enjoy receiving what men can offer.
Just because a woman enjoys a man’s gift does not in any way obligate her to give more than a smile or a thank you.
The Desire for Intimacy Is Innocent
If a woman is not ready she can still be polite and firmly say no to man’s sexual advances.
Four Degrees of Physical Intimacy
A woman can say yes to different degrees of sex without having to go all the way. This is a very important insight, because to avoid intercourse, many women will not be physically affectionate or sexual at all. For a woman to feel comfortable being physically intimate, she needs to share a clear picture of how far she wants to go, and she must get a clear message from the man that he will respect what she wants.
· First Base: to do kissing and affection.
· Second Base: they begin to stimulate the first and second erogenous zones.
· Third Base: the full stimulation of the genitals without intercourse.
· Home Base
How to Say NO
When Waiting to Get Involved Is a Mistake
(From “ Mars and Venus on a Date” ch.4)
Stage One: Attraction
Although feelings of attraction are automatic, in order to sustain attraction in a personal relationship we must also be skillful in presenting ourselves in ways that are not just appealing to the order sex but supportive as well.
Expressing Your Most Positive Self
To sustain attraction in stage one, we must express our best and most positive self. Without an understanding of the customs and manners on Venus, a man can put his best foot forward and unknowingly turn a date off.
Asking for Her Number
A man doesn’t realize his power to win her over and become attractive to her. He doesn’t how to start becoming more attractive to her by:
• First initiating eye contact
• Just noticing her
• politely and casually looking her over as she looks away
• being interested in getting to know her
• liking her
• being attracted to her
• taking the risk of introducing himself
• asking some friendly questions
• looking at her when she talks
• giving her his full attention
• complimenting her
• letting her know at the end of the conversation that her would like to call her (It can be so simple to say, “I’d like to give you a call.”)
Whenever a man does something to make a woman feel special, in her eyes becomes more attractive.
How Women Misunderstand Men
Women also misunderstand men. A woman often mistakenly assume that if a man is the right man for her, he will know what she wants and will automatically consider her needs and do the things she does to show that her cares. When he doesn’t fulfill this unrealistic expectation, then she becomes unnecessarily frustrated and discouraged.
On Venus, friends enjoy the opportunity to share freely the mishaps, frustrations, disappointments, and complaints of the week.
A man is attracted to a woman who clearly can be pleased.
After getting to know our best sides, we are ready to deal with the less positive sides of who we are.
When a Woman Gives On a Date
After being receptive to man’s advances and appreciating his efforts, a woman doesn’t owe a man anything.
Distance not only makes the heart grow fonder but gives a man the opportunity to pursue.
Unlocking the Car Door
When a woman is too eager to please, a man doesn’t experience the distance he needs to pursue her.
When a woman reaches across to unlock a man’s door, it defeats the whole purpose of the date and confuses their roles.
Why Women Give Too Much
A woman need never feel obligated to please a man.
Falling in Love Right Away
When a woman falls in love, she may feel as if she is already getting everything she could ever want.
Expressing Your Most Positive Self
To sustain attraction in stage one, we must express our best and most positive self. Without an understanding of the customs and manners on Venus, a man can put his best foot forward and unknowingly turn a date off.
Asking for Her Number
A man doesn’t realize his power to win her over and become attractive to her. He doesn’t how to start becoming more attractive to her by:
• First initiating eye contact
• Just noticing her
• politely and casually looking her over as she looks away
• being interested in getting to know her
• liking her
• being attracted to her
• taking the risk of introducing himself
• asking some friendly questions
• looking at her when she talks
• giving her his full attention
• complimenting her
• letting her know at the end of the conversation that her would like to call her (It can be so simple to say, “I’d like to give you a call.”)
Whenever a man does something to make a woman feel special, in her eyes becomes more attractive.
How Women Misunderstand Men
Women also misunderstand men. A woman often mistakenly assume that if a man is the right man for her, he will know what she wants and will automatically consider her needs and do the things she does to show that her cares. When he doesn’t fulfill this unrealistic expectation, then she becomes unnecessarily frustrated and discouraged.
On Venus, friends enjoy the opportunity to share freely the mishaps, frustrations, disappointments, and complaints of the week.
A man is attracted to a woman who clearly can be pleased.
After getting to know our best sides, we are ready to deal with the less positive sides of who we are.
When a Woman Gives On a Date
After being receptive to man’s advances and appreciating his efforts, a woman doesn’t owe a man anything.
Distance not only makes the heart grow fonder but gives a man the opportunity to pursue.
Unlocking the Car Door
When a woman is too eager to please, a man doesn’t experience the distance he needs to pursue her.
When a woman reaches across to unlock a man’s door, it defeats the whole purpose of the date and confuses their roles.
Why Women Give Too Much
A woman need never feel obligated to please a man.
Falling in Love Right Away
When a woman falls in love, she may feel as if she is already getting everything she could ever want.
Finding the Right Person for You
Finding the right person for you is like hitting the center of a target in archery. To aim and hit the center takes a lot of practice.
Good Endings Make Good Beginnings
How we end a relationship and how we evaluate a date are essential to fine-tuning our ability to be attracted to the right person for us. The secret of making sure one relationship leads to another one, closer to what you want, is to pay a lot of attention to how you end a relationship. How you end a relationship has an enormous impact on the quality of your next relationship. Good endings make good beginnings.
Repeating Patterns
When we end a relationship with resentment or guilt, we are attracted to someone who will help us deal with unresolved feelings and issues.
Staying Together Too Long
One of the reasons people end relationships with negative feelings is that they stay together too long. They do not recognize they are with the wrong person and move on. Instead, they try too hard to make a relationship work. They either try to change their partner or try to change themselves. In the process of trying to fit together, they make things worse. In trying to make a relationship that is close to the right one into the right one, they create frustration and disappointment. In the process of trying to make things better, they bring out the worst in their partner and themselves.
When Love Is Not Enough
As Bill and Susan moved through the first three stages of dating, everything had been fine, but in the fourth stage it went downhill. As Bill got to know Susan, he began to think he was not right for her and she was not right for him. He loved her, but he didn’t want to marry her.
Neither Bill nor Susan knew that it was perfectly healthy to get to know a person, fall in love, and then discover that this person is not a right one. Instead of ending their relationship with love, they ended it because they had so many arguments that they just didn’t like each other anymore. Without this important insight, many people end relationships by focusing on the negative instead of by focusing on the positive.
How Do You Know When Someone Is Right?
“How do you know if someone is right?”
“Well, I don’t exactly know what to tell you---you just know.”
What Many Single People Don’t Understand
Many single people don’t understand this basic truth. They mistakenly believe that if you love someone, you should want to have a relationship with them. This is not right. The closer someone is to being the right person, the more you will be able to see him or her as worthy of your love, but still this might not be the right person for you. Just because you love someone doesn’t mean he or she is the one for you.
People do not realize that love is not enough. If they discover that their partner is not right, either they feel guilty ending the relationship or they unnecessarily focus on what does not work in the relationship in order to justify leaving.
When couples don’t know how to end a relationship with love, they bring out the worst in their partners and the worst in themselves. Not only is this unnecessary, but it makes it more difficult to find the right person next time.
What It Takes
In most cases it takes both time and progression through the five stages before you can recognize your true life partner and soul mate. Certainly there are games and manipulations to make someone love you and want to marry you, but this doesn’t ensure that he or she will be right for you.
Finding a Soul Mate
A soul mate is someone who has the unique ability to bring out the best in us. Soul mates are not perfect, but perfect for us. While they can bring out the best in us, without good communication skills they can also bring out the worst in us, and vice versa. We are not just physically turned on to them; our soul gets turned on as well.
There are basically four kinds of chemistry between dating partners: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. Physical chemistry generates desire. Emotional chemistry generates affection. Mental chemistry creates interest. Spiritual chemistry creates love. A soul mate includes all four.
Physical Attraction Is Not Enough
The Soul and Lasting Love
Opening Our Hearts
In the early stages of dating, when our hearts are not fully open to each other, we depend on our feelings of attraction and interest to find the right person. Feelings of attraction and interest can only lead us into a relationship that meets our emotional needs. Once we begin to get our emotional needs met in a relationship, our hearts begin to open and we experience real love and intimacy. As we get to know our partner with love, it is still not certain that we will pick him or her as our soul mate.
We may feel a deep soul love, but still that person may not be the one. Finding deep and lasting love does not mean a person is the perfect person for you. When some people mistakenly assume that loving a person means marriage, they can never open up to feel the love in their hearts because they are not sure that they want to marry that person.
Marriage Is a Choice
Marriage is a choice, but not like any other choice. You don’t marry just any person you love. Instead, you first find love and then you are capable of making the right choice. As we have already explored, the experience of real love for a person doesn’t necessarily mean he or she is the one for you. The experience of real love does connect us to our soul. With this connection, we are then able to know what our soul wants to do.
Choosing a soul mate is not mental decision based on the pros and cons of a relationship. It is not an emotional decision based on comparing how a person makes you feel. It is not a physical decision based on how a person looks. It is much deeper. When our soul wants to marry our partner, it feels like a promise that we came into this world to keep.
It feels as if we are supposed to be together and share our lives.
Preparing Ourselves
Most people find or are found by their soul mates when they are not really looking.
Autonomy Is the Basis for Intimacy
As we become more autonomous and mature, we automatically begin looking for more in our relationships.
Soul Mates Are Not Perfect
When You Can’t Make Up Your Mind
The Importance of Exclusivity
Increasing Discernment
Why Couples Are Waiting To Get Married
It is wise to first know yourself before trying to share your self in a marriage.
The Wisdom of Going Slowly
Just as living separately from our parents is an important part of growing up, living separately from the opposite sex is equally important.
(From "Mars and Venus on a Date" ch.2)
Archery: [U] 箭術
Resentment: n.[U] 憤恨、憎恨、怨恨
Autonomy: n.[U]自治、自治權；[C] 自治團體
Good Endings Make Good Beginnings
How we end a relationship and how we evaluate a date are essential to fine-tuning our ability to be attracted to the right person for us. The secret of making sure one relationship leads to another one, closer to what you want, is to pay a lot of attention to how you end a relationship. How you end a relationship has an enormous impact on the quality of your next relationship. Good endings make good beginnings.
Repeating Patterns
When we end a relationship with resentment or guilt, we are attracted to someone who will help us deal with unresolved feelings and issues.
Staying Together Too Long
One of the reasons people end relationships with negative feelings is that they stay together too long. They do not recognize they are with the wrong person and move on. Instead, they try too hard to make a relationship work. They either try to change their partner or try to change themselves. In the process of trying to fit together, they make things worse. In trying to make a relationship that is close to the right one into the right one, they create frustration and disappointment. In the process of trying to make things better, they bring out the worst in their partner and themselves.
When Love Is Not Enough
As Bill and Susan moved through the first three stages of dating, everything had been fine, but in the fourth stage it went downhill. As Bill got to know Susan, he began to think he was not right for her and she was not right for him. He loved her, but he didn’t want to marry her.
Neither Bill nor Susan knew that it was perfectly healthy to get to know a person, fall in love, and then discover that this person is not a right one. Instead of ending their relationship with love, they ended it because they had so many arguments that they just didn’t like each other anymore. Without this important insight, many people end relationships by focusing on the negative instead of by focusing on the positive.
How Do You Know When Someone Is Right?
“How do you know if someone is right?”
“Well, I don’t exactly know what to tell you---you just know.”
What Many Single People Don’t Understand
Many single people don’t understand this basic truth. They mistakenly believe that if you love someone, you should want to have a relationship with them. This is not right. The closer someone is to being the right person, the more you will be able to see him or her as worthy of your love, but still this might not be the right person for you. Just because you love someone doesn’t mean he or she is the one for you.
People do not realize that love is not enough. If they discover that their partner is not right, either they feel guilty ending the relationship or they unnecessarily focus on what does not work in the relationship in order to justify leaving.
When couples don’t know how to end a relationship with love, they bring out the worst in their partners and the worst in themselves. Not only is this unnecessary, but it makes it more difficult to find the right person next time.
What It Takes
In most cases it takes both time and progression through the five stages before you can recognize your true life partner and soul mate. Certainly there are games and manipulations to make someone love you and want to marry you, but this doesn’t ensure that he or she will be right for you.
Finding a Soul Mate
A soul mate is someone who has the unique ability to bring out the best in us. Soul mates are not perfect, but perfect for us. While they can bring out the best in us, without good communication skills they can also bring out the worst in us, and vice versa. We are not just physically turned on to them; our soul gets turned on as well.
There are basically four kinds of chemistry between dating partners: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. Physical chemistry generates desire. Emotional chemistry generates affection. Mental chemistry creates interest. Spiritual chemistry creates love. A soul mate includes all four.
Physical Attraction Is Not Enough
The Soul and Lasting Love
Opening Our Hearts
In the early stages of dating, when our hearts are not fully open to each other, we depend on our feelings of attraction and interest to find the right person. Feelings of attraction and interest can only lead us into a relationship that meets our emotional needs. Once we begin to get our emotional needs met in a relationship, our hearts begin to open and we experience real love and intimacy. As we get to know our partner with love, it is still not certain that we will pick him or her as our soul mate.
We may feel a deep soul love, but still that person may not be the one. Finding deep and lasting love does not mean a person is the perfect person for you. When some people mistakenly assume that loving a person means marriage, they can never open up to feel the love in their hearts because they are not sure that they want to marry that person.
Marriage Is a Choice
Marriage is a choice, but not like any other choice. You don’t marry just any person you love. Instead, you first find love and then you are capable of making the right choice. As we have already explored, the experience of real love for a person doesn’t necessarily mean he or she is the one for you. The experience of real love does connect us to our soul. With this connection, we are then able to know what our soul wants to do.
Choosing a soul mate is not mental decision based on the pros and cons of a relationship. It is not an emotional decision based on comparing how a person makes you feel. It is not a physical decision based on how a person looks. It is much deeper. When our soul wants to marry our partner, it feels like a promise that we came into this world to keep.
It feels as if we are supposed to be together and share our lives.
Preparing Ourselves
Most people find or are found by their soul mates when they are not really looking.
Autonomy Is the Basis for Intimacy
As we become more autonomous and mature, we automatically begin looking for more in our relationships.
Soul Mates Are Not Perfect
When You Can’t Make Up Your Mind
The Importance of Exclusivity
Increasing Discernment
Why Couples Are Waiting To Get Married
It is wise to first know yourself before trying to share your self in a marriage.
The Wisdom of Going Slowly
Just as living separately from our parents is an important part of growing up, living separately from the opposite sex is equally important.
(From "Mars and Venus on a Date" ch.2)
Archery: [U] 箭術
Resentment: n.[U] 憤恨、憎恨、怨恨
Autonomy: n.[U]自治、自治權；[C] 自治團體
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Contents of Mars and Venus on a Date
1. Mars and Venus on a Date
2. Finding the Right Person for You
3. Stage One: Attraction
4. Stage Two: Uncertainty
5. Stage Three: Exclusivity
6. Stage Four: Intimacy
7. Stage Five: Engagement
8. Making It Through the Five Stages
9. When the Clock Keeps Ticking and He’s Not Wearing a Watch
10. Men Are Like Blowtorches
11. The Dynamics of Male and Female Desire
12. Men Pursue and Women Flirt
13. Acknowledge Men and Adore Women
14. Men Advertise and Women Share
15. Why Men Don’t Call
16. To Call or Not to Call
17. Men Love a Woman with a Smile
18. Women Love a Man with a Plan
19. Why Some Women Remain Single
20. Where to Find Your Soul Mate
21. 101 Places to Meet Your Soul Mate
22. And They Lived Happily Ever After
2. Finding the Right Person for You
3. Stage One: Attraction
4. Stage Two: Uncertainty
5. Stage Three: Exclusivity
6. Stage Four: Intimacy
7. Stage Five: Engagement
8. Making It Through the Five Stages
9. When the Clock Keeps Ticking and He’s Not Wearing a Watch
10. Men Are Like Blowtorches
11. The Dynamics of Male and Female Desire
12. Men Pursue and Women Flirt
13. Acknowledge Men and Adore Women
14. Men Advertise and Women Share
15. Why Men Don’t Call
16. To Call or Not to Call
17. Men Love a Woman with a Smile
18. Women Love a Man with a Plan
19. Why Some Women Remain Single
20. Where to Find Your Soul Mate
21. 101 Places to Meet Your Soul Mate
22. And They Lived Happily Ever After
Mars and Venus
The book “Mars and Venus on a Date” is written by John Gray.
The subtitle of the book is that a guide for navigating the 5 stages of dating to create a loving and lasting relationship.
This is a book for people to understand the difference between men and women in dating and how to complete the 5-stages of dating.
It is not enough to merely to authentic in sharing yourself; to succeed in dating you need to consider how you will be interpreted as well.
The five stages of dating
Stage One: Attraction
We experience our initial attraction to a potential partner. The challenge in the first stage is to make sure you get the opportunity to express that attraction and get to know a potential partner.
Stage Two: Uncertainty
We experience a shift from feeling attraction to feeling uncertain that our partner is right for us. The challenge in this stage is to recognize this uncertainty as normal and not be swayed by it.
Stage Three: Exclusivity
We feel a desire to date a person exclusively. We want the opportunity to give and receive love in a special relationship without competition. We want to relax and have more time to share with our partner. All of the energy that went into looking for the right person can now go into creating a mutually loving and romantic relationship. The danger in this stage is that we become too comfortable and stop doing the little things that make our partners feel special.
Stage Four: Intimacy
We begin to experience real intimacy. We feel relaxed enough to let down our guard and share ourselves more deeply than before. The opportunity of this stage to experience the best in ourselves and our partner, while the challenge to deal with our less-than-best sides. Without and understanding of how men and women react differently to intimacy, it is easy to conclude mistakenly that we are just too different to proceed.
Stage Five: Engagement
With the certainty that we are with the person we want to marry, we become engaged. In this stage we have the opportunity to celebrate our love. This is the time to experience our relationship joyfully, happily, peacefully, and lovingly. This is a time of great excitement and promise. Many couples make the mistake of rushing into getting married. They do not understand that this is a vital time to gather positive experiences of sharing together and resolving disagreements and disappointments before the bigger challenges of being married, moving in together, and having a family. This stage provides a strong foundation for experiencing a lifetime of love and romance.
The fastest way of finding a special partner or being found by someone is to create positive dating experiences.
Learning from mistakes helps prevent the repetition of negative patterns.
The subtitle of the book is that a guide for navigating the 5 stages of dating to create a loving and lasting relationship.
This is a book for people to understand the difference between men and women in dating and how to complete the 5-stages of dating.
It is not enough to merely to authentic in sharing yourself; to succeed in dating you need to consider how you will be interpreted as well.
The five stages of dating
Stage One: Attraction
We experience our initial attraction to a potential partner. The challenge in the first stage is to make sure you get the opportunity to express that attraction and get to know a potential partner.
Stage Two: Uncertainty
We experience a shift from feeling attraction to feeling uncertain that our partner is right for us. The challenge in this stage is to recognize this uncertainty as normal and not be swayed by it.
Stage Three: Exclusivity
We feel a desire to date a person exclusively. We want the opportunity to give and receive love in a special relationship without competition. We want to relax and have more time to share with our partner. All of the energy that went into looking for the right person can now go into creating a mutually loving and romantic relationship. The danger in this stage is that we become too comfortable and stop doing the little things that make our partners feel special.
Stage Four: Intimacy
We begin to experience real intimacy. We feel relaxed enough to let down our guard and share ourselves more deeply than before. The opportunity of this stage to experience the best in ourselves and our partner, while the challenge to deal with our less-than-best sides. Without and understanding of how men and women react differently to intimacy, it is easy to conclude mistakenly that we are just too different to proceed.
Stage Five: Engagement
With the certainty that we are with the person we want to marry, we become engaged. In this stage we have the opportunity to celebrate our love. This is the time to experience our relationship joyfully, happily, peacefully, and lovingly. This is a time of great excitement and promise. Many couples make the mistake of rushing into getting married. They do not understand that this is a vital time to gather positive experiences of sharing together and resolving disagreements and disappointments before the bigger challenges of being married, moving in together, and having a family. This stage provides a strong foundation for experiencing a lifetime of love and romance.
The fastest way of finding a special partner or being found by someone is to create positive dating experiences.
Learning from mistakes helps prevent the repetition of negative patterns.
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